Six grueling months and 137 games later, the minor league season has ended. And just like two-thirds of MLB, the GABA's in September mop-up duty. We'll spend the last four weeks hitting up major league stadiums we couldn't fit in before, which explains the long layoffs and stupidly long distances between games. Sending off GABA 2010 in style:
Tuesday, September 7th:
Travel day. Lots of these coming in the near future. 13 MLB teams are all that’s left on the GABA docket. Of course, they’re spread across half the US, so we’ve got some mondo road trips in the final month.
Wednesday, September 8th:
Minneapolis, MN (245 miles from Des Moines)
Minnesota Twins vs. Kansas City Royals
With the Metrodome dead and gone, the Twins’ new outdoor yard will be a solid ice block by September. Maybe they’ll play hockey instead of baseball. Mauer’s from Minnesota, and Morneau’s Canadian; the Royals don’t stand a chance. So it really wouldn’t be that different from baseball.
Thursday, September 9th:
Travel day. How much cheese can we eat in one day while driving across Wisconsin? And how many metric tons will I weigh after five months of ballpark food? They’ll have to weigh me with the same scale they use for trucks at weigh stations.
Friday, September 10th:
Milwaukee, WI (337 miles from Minneapolis)
Milwaukee Brewers vs. Chicago Cubs
Milwaukee’s the town that saved my career and made this trip hypothetical instead of real. But when the day comes to actually take a GABA, Miller Park will hold a special place for us. We did this stadium as part of our first ever day-night doubleheader, a Wrigley Field-to-Miller Park jaunt in ’05. The blue-collar city of Milwaukee loves its beer and its Brewers. From Bernie’s Slide to the sausage race, the park’s memorable and unique. And fans actually tailgate like it’s a football game! A baseball lover’s must-do.
Saturday, September 11th:
Chicago, IL (94 miles from Milwaukee)
Chicago White Sox vs. Kansas City Royals
I knew all that body armor would come in handy one day. Bulletproof vests handed out to fans in the first 5 rows. I’m hoping for an epic Ozzie Guillen tirade when he realizes his team is only beating the Royals 7-0 after five innings. Game #140 on the trip… you can put it on the board… YES!
Sunday, September 12th:
Travel day. Hmm… coincidentally, I’ve given us a Sunday off in football season. Is it sacrilege to see a Bears (or Rams) game in the middle of baseball’s epic journey? Would the Rams be better if they actually tried to play a different sport, like baseball?
Monday, September 13th:
St. Louis, MO (295 miles from Chicago)
St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs
We’ve seen the Cubs at home and in Milwaukee, so why not follow them to the ‘Lou? My wife won’t be happy seeing this much Cubs baseball. The upside? This is her baseball Mecca. A very cool brick-laden yard that’s got the old warehouse/train station feel mixed with ultra-modern amenities. It’s a Midwestern AT&T Park. And there’s always the chance Albert Pujols will hit one to Iowa.
Tuesday, September 14th:
Kansas City, MO (249 miles from St. Louis)
Kansas City Royals vs. Oakland Athletics
OK, so I lied… there IS one more minor league baseball game on the schedule. It just involves two MLB teams. I’m actually excited about Kauffman Stadium, partially because it was baseball-only in an era where every other stadium known to man was multi-purpose and looked exactly the same. And partially because I could play center field for either – or both – of these teams.
Wednesday, September 15th:
Arlington, TX (559 miles from Kansas City)
Texas Rangers vs. Detroit Tigers
Even in September, we pin back our ears and go full-tilt. KC to Texas in a day is nuts, but we couldn’t do the Rangers or Astros the last time we came through Texas in August. The Ballpark/Ameriquest Field/Rangers Ballpark In Arlington was one of the first ultra-modern parks, and it’s held up well through 16 years (unlike the Rangers starting pitchers who’ve melted like snow cones in Texas heat by this point).
Thursday, September 16th:
Travel day. Wide open roads, since the entire state will be at Cowboys or Longhorns football practice.
Friday, September 17th:
Houston, TX (256 miles from Arlington)
Houston Astros vs. Cincinnati Reds
Ah, Houston. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it feels like to be stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam on the surface of the sun, this is your place. Actually, some of my best friends live in Houston (I hope they’re not reading this). Minute Maid Park is wonderful, although it feels like someone tried to build Miller Park or Chase Field on half the land. And don’t get me (or my H-town friends) started on that hill in center field.
Saturday, September 18th:
Travel day. Apparently I’m going to use September travel days as an excuse to squeeze every last mile out of our battered bodies and cars. Almost 1,500 miles in two days between games. It’s almost over… it’s almost over…
Sunday, September 19th:
Baltimore, MD (1448 miles from Houston)
Baltimore Orioles vs. New York Yankees
All those Oriole AA players we saw in Bowie should be settled in nicely as the Orioles’ September starting lineup. It won’t matter though – Camden Yards is a religious experience in baseball terms. Every stadium since owes a little something to Camden Yards. I hear Cal Ripken helped build the stadium on baseball’s off days, to stay busy.
Monday, September 20th:
Washington, DC (39 miles from Baltimore)
Washington Nationals vs. Houston Astros
I can already see a drawback to scheduling all these September MLB games: the potential for some very unexciting baseball. Maybe this will be the Nationals’ 100th loss. Or the Astros will score 100 runs. Apparently, when Nationals Park was being built, the bank wanted MLB to guarantee the rent would get paid in case of poor attendance. Really, I can’t make this stuff up.
Tuesday, September 21st:
Travel day. Actually, we plan on getting locked inside the Five Guys Burgers concession stand at Nationals Park overnight and eating ourselves into a food coma. It’s a short trip to Philly, after all.
Wednesday, September 22nd:
Philadelphia, PA (136 miles from Washington)
Philadelphia Phillies vs. Atlanta Braves
Two straight World Series appearances for the first time in franchise history. Wow, the oh-so-cordial Philly fans should be friendlier than ever. We’ll have to spend an entire day telling people they suck just for practice. All kidding aside, this is one of the better yards in baseball. Just don’t get hit with any batteries, rocks, or fists, and you’ll be fine.
Thursday, September 23rd thru Saturday, September 25th:
Travel days. Finally, for the first time in six months, we have consecutive off-days. Three of them. After 147 baseball games, this stretch is more like ‘detox’.
Sunday, September 26th:
Bronx, NY (113 miles from Philly)
New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox
For all the little towns and faceless stadiums and long stretches of desolate interstate, this will make it all worth it. Yankees-Red Sox, on a Sunday afternoon with a week to go in the season. Think there will be playoff implications? I put this one at the end because it might take from now until then to score two tickets to this game. Especially if they’re $15,000 a piece, or whatever Yankees tickets cost now.
Monday, September 27th:
Queens, NY (11 miles from the Bronx)
New York Mets vs. Milwaukee Brewers
Our shortest distance between two games all year, and it’ll still take three hours to get there. Citi Field is the stadium where fly balls go to die… in fact, I think I might be able to throw a few shutout innings there. And if the Mets keep getting hurt like they did last year, they might actually need me in the pen.
Tuesday, September 28th:
Travel day. One last road trip. Must… make… it… to… Deep… South…
Wednesday, September 29th:
Atlanta, GA (897 miles from Queens)
Atlanta Braves vs. Florida Marlins
The trip wraps up in my hometown, the city that brought us ostrich races and Ted Turner managing a game and Chief Noc-A-Homa. Oh, and 14 straight division titles… with one World Series win. 150 games, more than 27,000 miles… how appropriate that baseball’s ultimate road trip ends at home. Pass the fried okra! Come to think of it, don’t… I’m full.
Thursday, September 30th thru Sunday, October 3rd:
We actually finished this insane baseball journey four days early. So while baseball winds down its regular season, we’ll just reminisce. And sleep. I wonder if we’ll actually turn on the TV and watch any baseball…
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