Back to business: the market for pitching

Four weeks of non-stop planning, building and blogging - my office is a mess of papers, schedules and itineraries! But the GABA 2010 schedule is complete and out there for the world to see. And admire. And possibly question my sanity.

The GABA dream is alive; it's just not very likely to happen in 2010, since I'm entrenched in Milwaukee for now. But planning the trip was still more fun than a fantasy football win (they're sparse these days), and I fully intend on taking the trip at some point, something that should be made easier now that the concept's out there and no one's had me committed.

I'll revisit that monster trip throughout the offseason, but for now, it's time to get back to the other purpose of the GABA blog - analysis of the actual baseball world (the one I don't have to get in a car and drive to).

PITCHING MARKET:
I'm fascinated by how scared teams (and players' agents) are to make a move this offseason. No one wants to move a muscle until John Lackey dictates the pitching market, specifically the salary for a free-agent starting pitcher.

Lackey will unquestionably get the top dollar figure this offseason... and I guess other pitchers can then say "well, I'm 75% as good as he is, so I should get 75% of his money."

Let's get this overwith. The Yankees are busy celebrating title number 27, and the Red Sox are seething. They know they have to respond to New York's super-splash in the free agent market last winter. And the response HAS to start with John Lackey. Few other teams can cough up Lackey money, and none of those teams feel the pressure to make a statement like the boys in Beantown.

Point is, the Sox should get this deal done as soon as possible, for several reasons. First and foremost, the whole "counter-punch statement" will effectively be sent. And once the ink has dried in the 9-figure deal, the other dominoes (read: lucrative free-agent contracts) can fall into place; literally, the market will be set. And these other rumors (like Halladay to Boston) can fall by the wayside. Then we'd all have to figure out something else to over-analyze in the weeks leading up to spring training.

A note to mid-market teams waiting out the John Lackey effect: maybe now's the time to get aggressive on that hurler you've been coveting. See if somebody will budge in this frozen-over offseason market. Stop worrying about possibly overpaying a pitcher before the market gets set. This may sound like fiscal hogwash to the 21st century penny-pinchers in the front offices, but an early contract is just as likely to be an underpayment this time around. Why? Because the Red Sox almost have to overpay for Lackey, which will in turn inflate deals for the next 10-15 best free agent pitchers.

Isn't being a leader and innovator an integral part of organizational success? Didn't I read that in "MBA In A Box" or something? What better way to be a leader than to NOT let the Red Sox or Yankees dictate your payment scale, for once? Maybe then everyone won't be comparing themselves to a pitcher with a 3.81 career ERA (good, but not stellar by any means).

One final note about Halladay: anyone else find it interesting that the Sox and Yankees are balking at trading for one of baseball's most consistently dominant pitchers? Does it have anything to do with those 485 innings he's thrown the last two seasons? Yes, it's a consensus that Halladay has a rubber arm... right now. But weren't similar things said about Pedro Martinez right before the Mets sank their future into his right arm?

HARWELL'S LAST CALL:
Ernie Harwell is 91, has inoperable cancer, and is waiting for the end. In fact, Harwell says he doesn't think he'll be around to see another MLB game. He told Bob Costas he'd be happy to see his next birthday in late January.

Harwell has accepted the news fairly easily, all things considered. It will not be nearly that easy for the rest of the baseball world. Harwell's wealth of experience goes back so far, he delivered papers to Margaret Mitchell in his youth. He called Bobby Thomson's "shot heard round the world" for NBC television. Baseball has expanded by 14 teams since Harwell became the voice of the Tigers.

A loss of that large a piece of baseball history will be felt in all corners of the baseball world. Harwell is irreplaceable, but many of his calls are preserved in this era of digital audio and internet file sharing. Harwell's legendary voice will remain with us long after he's gone.

Maybe the great GM in the sky will let Ernie see one more Opening Day.

Great American Baseball Adventure: the rest of the 2010 season

Six grueling months and 137 games later, the minor league season has ended. And just like two-thirds of MLB, the GABA's in September mop-up duty. We'll spend the last four weeks hitting up major league stadiums we couldn't fit in before, which explains the long layoffs and stupidly long distances between games. Sending off GABA 2010 in style:


Tuesday, September 7th:
Travel day. Lots of these coming in the near future. 13 MLB teams are all that’s left on the GABA docket. Of course, they’re spread across half the US, so we’ve got some mondo road trips in the final month.


Wednesday, September 8th:
Minneapolis, MN (245 miles from Des Moines)
Minnesota Twins vs. Kansas City Royals

With the Metrodome dead and gone, the Twins’ new outdoor yard will be a solid ice block by September. Maybe they’ll play hockey instead of baseball. Mauer’s from Minnesota, and Morneau’s Canadian; the Royals don’t stand a chance. So it really wouldn’t be that different from baseball.


Thursday, September 9th:
Travel day. How much cheese can we eat in one day while driving across Wisconsin? And how many metric tons will I weigh after five months of ballpark food? They’ll have to weigh me with the same scale they use for trucks at weigh stations.


Friday, September 10th:
Milwaukee, WI (337 miles from Minneapolis)
Milwaukee Brewers vs. Chicago Cubs

Milwaukee’s the town that saved my career and made this trip hypothetical instead of real. But when the day comes to actually take a GABA, Miller Park will hold a special place for us. We did this stadium as part of our first ever day-night doubleheader, a Wrigley Field-to-Miller Park jaunt in ’05. The blue-collar city of Milwaukee loves its beer and its Brewers. From Bernie’s Slide to the sausage race, the park’s memorable and unique. And fans actually tailgate like it’s a football game! A baseball lover’s must-do.


Saturday, September 11th:
Chicago, IL (94 miles from Milwaukee)
Chicago White Sox vs. Kansas City Royals

I knew all that body armor would come in handy one day. Bulletproof vests handed out to fans in the first 5 rows. I’m hoping for an epic Ozzie Guillen tirade when he realizes his team is only beating the Royals 7-0 after five innings. Game #140 on the trip… you can put it on the board… YES!


Sunday, September 12th:
Travel day. Hmm… coincidentally, I’ve given us a Sunday off in football season. Is it sacrilege to see a Bears (or Rams) game in the middle of baseball’s epic journey? Would the Rams be better if they actually tried to play a different sport, like baseball?


Monday, September 13th:
St. Louis, MO (295 miles from Chicago)
St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs

We’ve seen the Cubs at home and in Milwaukee, so why not follow them to the ‘Lou? My wife won’t be happy seeing this much Cubs baseball. The upside? This is her baseball Mecca. A very cool brick-laden yard that’s got the old warehouse/train station feel mixed with ultra-modern amenities. It’s a Midwestern AT&T Park. And there’s always the chance Albert Pujols will hit one to Iowa.


Tuesday, September 14th:
Kansas City, MO (249 miles from St. Louis)
Kansas City Royals vs. Oakland Athletics

OK, so I lied… there IS one more minor league baseball game on the schedule. It just involves two MLB teams. I’m actually excited about Kauffman Stadium, partially because it was baseball-only in an era where every other stadium known to man was multi-purpose and looked exactly the same. And partially because I could play center field for either – or both – of these teams.


Wednesday, September 15th:
Arlington, TX (559 miles from Kansas City)
Texas Rangers vs. Detroit Tigers

Even in September, we pin back our ears and go full-tilt. KC to Texas in a day is nuts, but we couldn’t do the Rangers or Astros the last time we came through Texas in August. The Ballpark/Ameriquest Field/Rangers Ballpark In Arlington was one of the first ultra-modern parks, and it’s held up well through 16 years (unlike the Rangers starting pitchers who’ve melted like snow cones in Texas heat by this point).


Thursday, September 16th:
Travel day. Wide open roads, since the entire state will be at Cowboys or Longhorns football practice.


Friday, September 17th:
Houston, TX (256 miles from Arlington)
Houston Astros vs. Cincinnati Reds

Ah, Houston. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it feels like to be stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam on the surface of the sun, this is your place. Actually, some of my best friends live in Houston (I hope they’re not reading this). Minute Maid Park is wonderful, although it feels like someone tried to build Miller Park or Chase Field on half the land. And don’t get me (or my H-town friends) started on that hill in center field.


Saturday, September 18th:
Travel day. Apparently I’m going to use September travel days as an excuse to squeeze every last mile out of our battered bodies and cars. Almost 1,500 miles in two days between games. It’s almost over… it’s almost over…


Sunday, September 19th:
Baltimore, MD (1448 miles from Houston)
Baltimore Orioles vs. New York Yankees

All those Oriole AA players we saw in Bowie should be settled in nicely as the Orioles’ September starting lineup. It won’t matter though – Camden Yards is a religious experience in baseball terms. Every stadium since owes a little something to Camden Yards. I hear Cal Ripken helped build the stadium on baseball’s off days, to stay busy.


Monday, September 20th:
Washington, DC (39 miles from Baltimore)
Washington Nationals vs. Houston Astros

I can already see a drawback to scheduling all these September MLB games: the potential for some very unexciting baseball. Maybe this will be the Nationals’ 100th loss. Or the Astros will score 100 runs. Apparently, when Nationals Park was being built, the bank wanted MLB to guarantee the rent would get paid in case of poor attendance. Really, I can’t make this stuff up.


Tuesday, September 21st:
Travel day. Actually, we plan on getting locked inside the Five Guys Burgers concession stand at Nationals Park overnight and eating ourselves into a food coma. It’s a short trip to Philly, after all.


Wednesday, September 22nd:
Philadelphia, PA (136 miles from Washington)
Philadelphia Phillies vs. Atlanta Braves

Two straight World Series appearances for the first time in franchise history. Wow, the oh-so-cordial Philly fans should be friendlier than ever. We’ll have to spend an entire day telling people they suck just for practice. All kidding aside, this is one of the better yards in baseball. Just don’t get hit with any batteries, rocks, or fists, and you’ll be fine.


Thursday, September 23rd thru Saturday, September 25th:
Travel days. Finally, for the first time in six months, we have consecutive off-days. Three of them. After 147 baseball games, this stretch is more like ‘detox’.


Sunday, September 26th:
Bronx, NY (113 miles from Philly)
New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox

For all the little towns and faceless stadiums and long stretches of desolate interstate, this will make it all worth it. Yankees-Red Sox, on a Sunday afternoon with a week to go in the season. Think there will be playoff implications? I put this one at the end because it might take from now until then to score two tickets to this game. Especially if they’re $15,000 a piece, or whatever Yankees tickets cost now.


Monday, September 27th:
Queens, NY (11 miles from the Bronx)
New York Mets vs. Milwaukee Brewers

Our shortest distance between two games all year, and it’ll still take three hours to get there. Citi Field is the stadium where fly balls go to die… in fact, I think I might be able to throw a few shutout innings there. And if the Mets keep getting hurt like they did last year, they might actually need me in the pen.


Tuesday, September 28th:
Travel day. One last road trip. Must… make… it… to… Deep… South…


Wednesday, September 29th:
Atlanta, GA (897 miles from Queens)
Atlanta Braves vs. Florida Marlins

The trip wraps up in my hometown, the city that brought us ostrich races and Ted Turner managing a game and Chief Noc-A-Homa. Oh, and 14 straight division titles… with one World Series win. 150 games, more than 27,000 miles… how appropriate that baseball’s ultimate road trip ends at home. Pass the fried okra! Come to think of it, don’t… I’m full.


Thursday, September 30th thru Sunday, October 3rd:
We actually finished this insane baseball journey four days early. So while baseball winds down its regular season, we’ll just reminisce. And sleep. I wonder if we’ll actually turn on the TV and watch any baseball…

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 22: August 30th-September 6th, 2010

It's the end of the minor league season as we know it, and I feel fine! Or so exhausted I don't know any better. Week 22 (with Labor Day thrown in as a bonus)finishes out the meat of the trip, and by the time the last pitch is thrown in Des Moines, we'll be at 137 games and closing in on our ultimate goal. Or a hospital visit, one of the two. Week 22:


Monday, August 30th:
Davenport, IA (98 miles from Peoria)
Quad Cities River Bandits (A Cardinals) vs. Cedar Rapids Kernels (A Angels)

The last week of the minor league season is all about Iowa corn. We’ve actually been to Modern Woodmen Park, a renovated old gem on the banks of the Mississippi, back in 2005 when the team was called The Swing of the Quad Cities. They took some key strikes in the late innings, so we called them The Take of the Quad Cities.


Tuesday, August 31st:
Omaha, NE (307 miles from Davenport)
Omaha Royals (AAA Royals) vs. Round Rock Express (AAA Astros)

Another cornerstone of the trip. This game is part of the final series ever played at Rosenblatt Stadium, the yard made famous every June by the College World Series. It’s the largest non-MLB stadium in the country, and it still uses a live organist. I’d be shocked if this game isn’t in our top 5 when the GABA is over.


Wednesday, September 1st:
Cedar Rapids, IA (266 miles from Omaha)
Cedar Rapids Kernels (A Angels) vs. Burlington Bees (A Royals)

Welcome to September… in northern Iowa. I’m thinking a game-time temperature in the 30s and a wind chill in some very non-baseball-friendly category. Maybe we should’ve done the Midwest in June. But with free parking and first-row seats for $10, we’ll just spend the extra money on hot chocolate.


Thursday, September 2nd:
Clinton, IA (84 miles from Cedar Rapids)
Clinton LumberKings (A Mariners) vs. Beloit Snappers (A Twins)

If you build it, we will come. OK, I had to drop that line for one rural Iowa team. Alliant Energy Field is more than 70 years old, and the team has put 200 players in the big leagues through the years. It’ll be classic, old-school, traditional baseball… at least as traditional as a man with a crown and a wooden stick chasing around a snapping turtle can be.


Friday, September 3rd:
Geneva, IL (108 miles from Clinton)
Kane County Cougars (A Athletics) vs. Peoria Chiefs (A Cubs)

I was on board with minor league baseball in the Chicago megalopolis ‘burbs. The Cougars did it long before the Frisco Melts, I mean, RoughRiders. But a farm team in the Second City’s backyard, associated with the Oakland A’s?! Something’s rotten in the state of Illinois. The Cougs have some lottery-like promotions… if the 4th batter of the last inning hits a walk-off grand slam, a fan wins $100,000! If the batter crosses home plate dancing on his head while yodeling in Swedish, the prize reportedly triples.


Saturday, September 4th:
Chicago, IL (43 miles from Geneva)
Chicago Cubs vs. New York Mets

Here’s a Wrigley Field plot-spoiler: the first time you see the stadium from the outside, you’ll be horrified and disgusted. You’ll wonder how the hell they don’t tear the thing down. The first time you see the stadium from the inside, you will almost instantly fall in love. It’s our first MLB game in more than a month, and yet we’ll probably be seeing September minor league call-ups for two teams playing out the string.


Sunday, September 5th:
Burlington, IA (241 miles from Chicago)
Burlington Bees (A Royals) vs. Clinton LumberKings (A Mariners)

Anytime you can trace your city’s baseball history back to 1889, you know you’ve got tradition. The 1889 Burlington Babies played in the Central Interstate League, twenty years before the Model T was invented. I’d like to see those throwbacks in Burlington on this random Sunday afternoon.


Monday, September 6th:
Des Moines, IA (188 miles from Clinton)
Iowa Cubs (AAA Cubs) vs. Memphis Redbirds (AAA Cardinals)

Our 120th and final minor league baseball stop. In five months, we’ve seen minor league farmhands in 38 states. We’ve seen the Loons and Lugnuts, Curve and Drive, 51s and 66ers, and every other full-season farm team in between. The trip still has a few weeks to go, but the every-day grind ends in Des Moines, where my wife will use what’s left of her voice to cheer on her baby Cardinals against their baby rivals. Never in our lives have we worked this hard to get to Labor Day.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 21: August 23rd-29th, 2010

Last two weeks of the minor league season, and we've got some serious work left to do. Time to hit the Midwest for one last long stretch of games down on the farm. GABA Week 21:

Monday, August 23rd:
Indianapolis, IN (357 miles from Knoxville)
Indianapolis Indians (AAA Pirates) vs. Louisville Bats (AAA Reds)

Back in the Midwest for the end of the minor league season. It’s our International League finale, and our 4th time seeing Indy. Not the 1980s movie hero, the team… but how sweet would it be to see a team take the field in fedoras, wielding whips and pistols? OK, it has no basis in reality, but after more than 1,100 innings of baseball at this point, I’m game for anything.


Tuesday, August 24th:
Fort Wayne, IN (130 miles from Indianapolis)
Fort Wayne TinCaps (A Padres) vs. Lansing Lugnuts (A Blue Jays)

Remember, the Detroit Pistons got their start in Fort Wayne, so why can’t the TinCaps dream big? They’re named for Johnny Appleseed, who was one big guy if memory serves me right. Wait… crap, that was Paul Bunyan, who isn’t even real. OK, if planning this trip has affected my brain this much, I can’t imagine what actually taking the trip will do.


Wednesday, August 25th:
South Bend, IN (84 miles from Fort Wayne)
South Bend Silver Hawks (A D’Backs) vs. Dayton Dragons (A Reds)

This will be one of the few times to be ‘backstage’ pre-game, just to find out if there’s a sign in the Silver Hawks locker room that says ‘Play Like A Champion Today’. Or at least, a ‘Home Run Jesus’. I also thought about scheduling the Silver Hawks (named for a model of Studebaker) on a Saturday in football season opposite a Notre Dame home game, just to see if we would have the baseball game all to ourselves.


Thursday, August 26th:
Travel day. We have to drive across Chicago at this point, and it might actually take the entire day to do that.


Friday, August 27th:
Beloit, WI (190 miles from South Bend)
Beloit Snappers (A Twins) vs. Kane County Cougars (A Athletics)

A team named for one of the slowest mammals on the planet… Snappers reportedly just edged out “Beloit Bengie Molinas” in the team naming contest. Another all-you-can-eat affair – I’ll pack in as much as my gut can take for $25, then go buy stock in Maalox. There are rumors the Snappers will move to nearby Janesville, but I have a better solution – go 15 miles south to Rockford and change the name to the “Rockford Files”. Instant success!


Saturday, August 28th:
Grand Chute, WI (162 miles from Beloit)
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (A Brewers) vs. Kane County Cougars (A Athletics)

Sorry, Kane County Cougars, but we trailed your team bus all the way here because we couldn’t find Grand Chute on the map. Seriously, the town of Grand Chute, Wisconsin is not in my Rand McNally Road Atlas (which, by the way, is in total disrepair after planning this GABA). Like the Green Bay Packers, the Timber Rattlers are publicly owned, which means we could buy a stake in the team! Oh, the possibilities…


Sunday, August 29th:
Peoria, IL (316 miles from Grand Chute)
Peoria Chiefs (A Cubs) vs. Clinton LumberKings (A Mariners)

We’ll be begging the Chiefs to make this a night game, since we’re driving 300+ miles after a Saturday night game in Grand Chute. The Chiefs have taken 21st century, everything’s-for-sale capitalism to a new level. You can buy naming rights on a game-by-game basis. Vienna beef Chicago-style hot dogs on a Sunday at “GABA 2010 Stadium” in Peoria? Better raise some more funds…

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 20: August 16th-22nd, 2010

Just three weeks left in the minor league season! GABA 2010 Week 20 spends some quality time in the Bluegrass State (Kentucky), the Volunteer State (Tennessee), and... uh... whatever West Virginia's nickname is. Week 20:


Monday, August 16th:
Bowling Green, KY (196 miles from Huntsville)
Bowling Green Hot Rods (A Rays) vs. Great Lakes Loons (A Dodgers)

Bowling Green is switching leagues in ’10 to cut down on travel expenses, yet they’re still nowhere near their new Midwest League opponents. I call it proof that Bowling Green might actually be the ‘middle of nowhere’. Plenty of minor league oddity here – a new stadium whose right-center field wall is concave (bends inward) because of a road behind it, plus a franchise once called the South Georgia Waves. Surf’s up in Albany, GA!


Tuesday, August 17th:
Nashville, TN (65 miles from Bowling Green)
Nashville Sounds (AAA Brewers) vs. Colorado Springs Sky Sox (AAA Rockies)

Speaking of misplaced references to water, Nashville’s in the Pacific Coast League, setting up those great geographic rivalries with teams like Tacoma and Portland. Nashville does have one of the coolest scoreboards in baseball, a 116-foot high monster shaped like a guitar with the line score on the neck. Rumor has it Elvis tried to eat this guitar in his later days in Vegas.


Wednesday, August 18th:
Louisville, KY (174 miles from Nashville)
Louisville Bats (AAA Reds) vs. Syracuse Chiefs (AAA Nationals)

Midway through month number five on this trip, it’s easy to forget the sanctity of America’s national pastime. Seeing a game at Louisville Slugger Field, on the site of an old train station, will serve as a nice reminder. Plus, America loves underdogs, and between them, the Reds and Nationals have enough underdogs to fill a kennel.


Thursday, August 19th:
Lexington, KY (80 miles from Louisville)
Lexington Legends (A Astros) vs. Greenville Drive (A Red Sox)

Thursday night showdown delayed by two hours after team officials accidentally leave the outfield gates open, allowing horses to come in and eat all the stadium’s grass. Game is played completely on dirt, which makes no difference to inebriated Thirsty Thursday crowd. Seriously, I wonder if Lexington does a ‘sausage-race’ type promotion with horses?


Friday, August 20th:
Charleston, WV (177 miles from Lexington)
West Virginia Power (A Pirates) vs. Asheville Tourists (A Rockies)

I see this team’s name, and I feel like I’m overdue on a $150.00 electric bill. Wait, I probably am. The Power have a fan who, after an opposing batter strikes out, yells “you are toast!” and starts throwing toasted bread to the fans around him. The team put an electrical outlet in the backstop to help with the toasting. Brilliant! (Insert all your West Virginia jokes here. Go ahead, get them all out…)


Saturday, August 21st:
Knoxville, TN (310 miles from Charleston)
Tennessee Smokies (AA Cubs) vs. Mississippi Braves (AA Braves)

This might be the strangest detour in the entire trip. We’re going from West Virginia to the Midwest, and we stop in… metro Knoxville? It’s the only day the Smokies’ home schedule meshes with the trip. Trust me, I didn’t lose my atlas or have a brain meltdown after more than 100 games. Since we’ll be in speed-driving mode, it’s a perfect night for speed-eating – Smokies Park has a $10 all-you-can-eat buffet that ends at first pitch. I’m bringing two bibs.


Sunday, August 22nd:
Travel day. Nothing like going back through two cities you just visited (Lexington and Louisville) to make you feel like an efficient scheduler. I’m not bitter about the Smokies, I promise…

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 19: August 9th-15th, 2010

18 weeks of baseball and, somehow, someway, the Great American Baseball Adventure's still going strong! One last swing through the Deep South for Week 19 - bring your appetite for grits and catfish...

Monday, August 9th:
Springdale, AR (110 miles from Tulsa)
Northwest Arkansas Naturals (AA Royals) vs. Arkansas Travelers (AA Angels)

The Battle of Arkansas, Part Deux. Keeping score of this game becomes incredibly confusing when every Naturals player changes his name to Robert Redford. It’s fun to play on the Nats’ nickname, but not nearly as fun as the second place finisher in the ‘name the team’ contest – Thunder Chickens. Oh, the jokes that could’ve been…


Tuesday, August 10th:
Travel day. My wife will visit family in Little Rock; I’ll spend the day writing down all my Thunder Chickens jokes. We’ve got a handful of Southern teams to go, and then it’s all Midwest, all the time for the rest of the minor league season.


Wednesday, August 11th:
Jackson, TN (412 miles from Springdale)
West Tenn Diamond Jaxx (AA Mariners) vs. Montgomery Biscuits (AA Rays)

You can’t have baseball without salty, fatty, disgusting, fantastic food. And a game at Pringles Park featuring the Biscuits has me in one serious artery-clogging mood. I’m parking myself down on the front row in Wink Martindale’s hometown and humming the Tic-Tac-Dough theme repeatedly while mowing down the peanuts and Cracker Jaxx. That was a long way to go for a joke, and I don’t apologize for it.


Thursday, August 12th:
Chattanooga, TN (262 miles from Jackson)
Chattanooga Lookouts (AA Dodgers) vs. Tennessee Smokies (AA Cubs)

The place now called Dodgertown, Tennessee is another promotion-rich environment; last year fans sang exactly half of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at the 3.5-inning stretch. Hey, the economy’s got everybody cutting back, right? And apparently, you can watch the game from a barber’s chair in left field while getting your mane trimmed. Which is good, since I didn’t build a lot of haircut time into the GABA.


Friday, August 13th:
Rome, GA (69 miles from Chattanooga)
Rome Braves (A Braves) vs. Augusta Greenjackets (A Giants)

Just another part of the Braves’ master plan to put each of their minor league teams within walking distance of the big league club. Rome ain’t suburban, but it ain’t far from the ATL. Since it’s Friday the 13th, we may decide to stay in our hotel room instead of looking for Romulus, Remus, or the Leasing Tower of Pisa.


Saturday, August 14th:
Lawrenceville, GA (89 miles from Rome)
Gwinnett Braves (AAA Braves) vs. Durham Bulls (AAA Rays)

Braves’ farmhands can literally take a cab ride to the big league ballpark from suburban Lawrenceville. Advantages to Gwinnett Stadium: it’s new, it’s suburban, and it’s actually the closest minor league park to the town where I grew up. Disadvantage: at the rate Atlanta’s growing, Lawrenceville will be annexed into downtown Atlanta by 2015.


Sunday, August 15th:
Huntsville, AL (236 miles from Lawrenceville)
Huntsville Stars (AA Brewers) vs. West Tenn Diamond Jaxx (AA Mariners)

One last swing through Alabama to reach for the Stars, aka the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers. Because once Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder leave for large market bucks, somebody’s gotta replace them, right? Joe Davis Stadium’s hosted monster truck rallies before; maybe we can get lucky and catch a two-fer. Or both events at the same time. After all, it is… SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 18: August 2nd-8th, 2010

We're done California dreamin' ... time to hightail it across the desert Southwest and on to a whirlwind tour of Texas. Hanson even gets a shout out in Week 18 of GABA 2010:


Monday, August 2nd:
Phoenix, AZ (355 miles from San Diego)
Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Washington Nationals

Game time temperature: somewhere above water’s boiling point. Before the game, crowd is thrilled to hear the stadium will be cooled by Mark Reynolds’ swings and misses instead of traditional AC. In the 4th, Adam Dunn gives up and spends the next two innings in the right field pool. 10-year-old lucky fan wins a contest and pitches the 7th… for both teams.


Tuesday, August 3rd:
Travel day. Getting to 150 games in six months is the scheduling equivalent of a Rubik’s Cube - there’s at least one part that just doesn’t get solved. And this is that section of the trip. We have to squeeze in the four remaining Texas teams, plus Tulsa and Northwest Arkansas, in a six-day stretch. This is the point where I’m really happy my full-time employment has made this trip fictional.


Wednesday, August 4th:
Frisco, TX (1085 miles from Phoenix)
Frisco RoughRiders (AA Rangers) vs. Midland RockHounds (AA Athletics)

Rough Ride, indeed. We’re crossing half the country in two days, then hitting five Texas League games in six days (remember, Texas is one stupidly huge state). It’s our only time seeing the visiting RockHounds (our Midland trip was for the Texas League All-Star Game), and Dr. Pepper Ballpark’s village-like design sounds very cool. Wonder if they’ll let us sleep on the benches after all those hours in the car.


Thursday, August 5th:
Corpus Christi, TX (439 miles from Frisco)
Corpus Christi Hooks (AA Astros) vs. San Antonio Missions (AA Padres)

Nolan Ryan and his group own two of the best-run franchises in all of minor league baseball, the Hooks and the Round Rock Express. Whataburger Field has a great coastal location, a rock wall, a basketball court, and a pool. And hopefully they serve taquitos after 11PM (inside reference for you Whataburger fans out there – I miss that burger joint!)


Friday, August 6th:
San Antonio, TX (143 miles from Corpus Christi)
San Antonio Missions (AA Padres) vs. Frisco RoughRiders (AA Rangers)

Does the Texas League only have three teams? I did this park in 2007 and my greatest memory were the mascots, Ballapeno and Henry the Puffy Taco. After a few innings, Ballapeno and Henry got into a skirmish behind home plate and Ballapeno literally started ripping the “lettuce” stuffing out of poor, defenseless Henry. Kids were traumatized for life. I laughed (at the mascots). Does that make me a mean person?


Saturday, August 7th:
Round Rock, TX (98 miles from San Antonio)
Round Rock Express (AAA Astros) vs. Fresno Grizzlies (AAA Giants)

I can’t really talk about the Express and Dell Diamond without gushing. I worked in Austin for two years and had some of my favorite baseball moments at that park. I proposed to my wife during the 7th inning stretch at that park. The Dell (which we used to call The Mouse Pad) is across the street from train tracks, and every time a train goes by, they play Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues: “I hear the train a-comin’, it’s rollin’ round the bend…” One of the top franchises, best staffs, and best experiences in all of baseball. Period. Must... stop... gushing...


Sunday, August 8th:
Tulsa, OK (434 miles from Round Rock)
Tulsa Drillers (AA Rockies) vs. Springfield Cardinals (AA Cardinals)

Very few teams are switching stadiums in 2010 (the economy strikes again), but the Drillers have struck oil with the new ONEOK Field in Tulsa’s historic Greenwood District. I was hoping they’d go with MMMBOP Field in honor of Tulsa-based trio Hanson, but no one’s ever listened to me when naming stadiums before.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 17: July 26th-August 1st, 2010

A couple nights in Vegas, the rest of the California League, and the prettiest park in all of baseball. Week 17 of the Great American Baseball Adventure, 2010:


Monday, July 26th:
Las Vegas, NV (221 miles from San Bernardino)
Las Vegas 51s (AAA Blue Jays) vs. Portland Beavers (AAA Padres)

Game #100! So the Blue Jays’ top farm team is named for a land area, has an alien for a mascot, and is 2,200 miles from Toronto. Did somebody take a wrong turn at Albuquerque? Rumors of Cashman Field adding video poker touch-screens on seat backs are untrue, but ‘Dress Like A Slot Machine’ Night would really push my buttons.


Tuesday, July 27th:
Travel day. Hmm… whatever could we do with an off day in Las Vegas?


Wednesday, July 28th:
Rancho Cucamonga, CA (224 miles from Las Vegas)
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (A Angels) vs. San Jose Giants (A Giants)

Only an Angels farm team would play its home games at a stadium called the City of Rancho Cucamonga Epicenter Entertainment and Sports Complex. It’s Weenie Wednesday in the ‘burbs of LA… hot dogs for a buck, but only if you order the dog using an inordinate number of words. By the way, how does a 175,000-person suburb get built ON a fault line?


Thursday, July 29th:
Bakersfield, CA (147 miles from Rancho Cucamonga)
Bakersfield Blaze (A Rangers) vs. Modesto Nuts (A Rockies)

After more than a hundred games, you’d think the stadiums would start to run together in the mind. Not so for Sam Lynn Ballpark, the only stadium in pro baseball that faces west. Yes, west… right into the setting sun, meaning the Blaze have the latest summer start times in all of baseball. And the shortest center field, at 354 feet. Weird, quirky, and refreshingly fun.


Friday, July 30th:
Lancaster, CA (87 miles from Bakersfield)
Lancaster JetHawks (A Astros) vs. Bakersfield Blaze (A Rangers)

The Blaze apparently didn’t like their quirky home stadium, since they followed us out of town to Lancaster. Since it’s two Texas teams’ farmhands dueling in SoCal, they’ll be allowed to wear boots with spurs, fire six-shooters into the air when celebrating good plays, and brand the on-deck circles with outlines of the state of Texas. The only thing missing is the Visalia Rawhide. Or an ex-president named Bush.


Saturday, July 31st:
Adelanto, CA (58 miles from Lancaster)
High Desert Mavericks (A Mariners) vs. Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (A Angels)

OK, we’re reaching the point where the California town names are being made up. Seriously, Adelanto? Our California League finale features a Mavs team that nearly won the league title last year. And a Quakes team that we’ve seen 3 times in a week. Except I’m still not convinced Adelanto really exists.


Sunday, August 1st:
San Diego, CA (147 miles from "Adelanto")
San Diego Padres vs. Florida Marlins

We say goodbye to Cali in style, in what I think is the nicest ballpark in the country. Petco Park is like a Mediterranean social garden on the outside; it’s hard to tell it’s a ballpark from across the street. The inside view is great, and it’ll be fun to debate if the Padres and Marlins could combine forces to field a single, competitive MLB roster.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 16: July 19th-25th, 2010

California dreaming hits its peak in Week 16. We'll see baseball at four different levels this week: MLB, AAA, A, and whatever it is the Oakland Athletics play. GABA 2010, Week 16:

Monday, July 19th:
Oakland, CA (12 miles from San Francisco)
Oakland Athletics vs. Boston Red Sox

Out of 30 MLB teams, somebody’s gotta have the worst stadium, and this is very likely the one. Understand, the A’s have been my team for many years, so I feel entitled to say the Coliseum looks like a construction crane threw up a bunch of concrete. The good news is we shouldn’t have any trouble getting first row seats right behind the dugouts. Or home plate. Or I might just ask to pitch an inning or two.


Tuesday, July 20th:
San Jose, CA (41 miles from Oakland)
San Jose Giants (A Giants) vs. Stockton Ports (A Athletics)

A ‘down-on-the-farm’ version of the Bay Series in another very cool setting. The stadium’s old-school, the Giants have won three California League titles in five years… but most importantly, if the San Jose pitcher strikes out the designated ‘beer batter’, beer’s half-price for the next 15 minutes. Can I vote Mark Reynolds to be the ‘beer batter’?


Wednesday, July 21st:
Fresno, CA (152 miles from San Jose)
Fresno Grizzlies (AAA Giants) vs. Salt Lake Bees (AAA Angels)

They know crazy promotions in Fresno, from K-Fed Night to As Seen On TV Night. The Grizzlies even have an offseason short series called “I Hate The Offseason”. Indeed. And thank goodness for the promotions, ‘cause I can’t think of a single other thing to say about Fresno.


Thursday, July 22nd:
Visalia, CA (44 miles from Fresno)
Visalia Rawhide (A D’Backs) vs. Lancaster JetHawks (A Astros)

A baseball team named for a Western that starred Clint Eastwood? Rawhide! I know the name is actually an homage to agriculture, but I’m going with the Western anyway. How about the San Francisco Gunsmoke? The Bakersfield Bonanza? The whole California league could go Old West! Go ahead, Cali League… make my day…


Friday, July 23rd:
Los Angeles, CA (188 miles from Visalia)
Los Angeles Dodgers vs. New York Mets

No exploding scoreboards, no sausage races, no “pin the tail on Kevin Federline” promotions. Just good baseball, good hot dogs, and good weather. It’s amazing how cool baseball really is with all the fluff stripped away. It’s funny, but Dodger Stadium might be the only thing about L.A. that isn’t chock full of fluff.


Saturday, July 24th:
Lake Elsinore, CA (69 miles from Los Angeles)
Lake Elsinore Storm (A Padres) vs. Bakersfield Blaze (A Rangers)

We have 21 hours between games for this 69-mile trek through L.A. traffic. I hope it’s enough time. Apparently there’s a city ordinance in Lake Elsinore that bans team nicknames ending in ‘s’. I always learned that water puts out fire; we’ll learn if that’s true this night.


Sunday, July 25th:
San Bernardino, CA (39 miles from Lake Elsinore)
Inland Empire 66ers (A Dodgers) vs. Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (A Angels)

The 66ers are named for Historic Route 66, but their full name is the “Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernardino”. Clearly a Dodger-created tongue-in-cheek shot at the Angels’ 78-word club name. Now, the Angels’ and Dodgers’ farmhands can duke out their frustrations in a “Sunday Game Of A Sport That Lasts Nine Innings And Features A Small White Ball With Stitches”.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 15: July 12th-18th, 2010

One of my favorite weeks of GABA 2010 is Week 15. I must've rearranged the schedule ten times to get us to the All-Star Game on the 13th, but we also get a night in Reno and a weekend in San Francisco. Is the West Coast really the best coast? We'll find out in Week 15:


Monday, July 12th:
Modesto, CA (75 miles from Sacramento)
Modesto Nuts (A Rockies) vs. Stockton Ports (A Athletics)

Welcome to the California League, which we will see in its entirety in just 20 days. Some great promotions in Modesto, including a $10 All-You-Can-Eat night on Wednesdays and $2 tacos and Tecates on Tuesdays. On Mondays, you can donate two items to a local charity and get in free. I plan on donating two Oakland A’s relief pitchers.

Tuesday, July 13th:
Anaheim, CA (338 miles from Modesto)
The 81st Major League Baseball All-Star Game

I know, I know… I cheated again. We could’ve stayed in Northern Cali and gone to a hundred different places. But it’s the freakin’ All-Star Game! It could be the single greatest game of the entire trip… unless it ends in a tie. And if that happens, we’re calling the rest of the trip off. The baseball purist in my would like to proudly point out that this is the ONLY interleague MLB game scheduled for the entire trip, 0utside of the state of Florida. And let's face it, who's really watching baseball in Florida?


Wednesday, July 14th:
Travel day. Or, more appropriately, “soak-in-the-fact-that-we’ve-seen-90-plus-games-on-this-trip-including-the-freakin-All-Star-Game” Day. Great name. It would look nice on a banner.


Thursday, July 15th:
Reno, NV (544 miles from Anaheim)
Reno Aces (AAA D’Backs) vs. Tacoma Rainiers (AAA Mariners)

In 11 days, we’ve seen the Rainiers in 3 cities that are at least 500 miles apart. I swear, PCL teams travel enough to do a GABA every season. If only the Aces played the Clinton Lumber Kings. Aces and Kings… blackjack!


Friday, July 16th:
Stockton, CA (179 miles from Reno)
Stockton Ports (A Athletics) vs. Visalia Rawhide (A D’Backs)

We went three months without seeing anything related to the A’s; now we can’t seem to get away from them. The Ports’ Banner Island Ballpark isn’t actually on an island. And I was all ready to unleash a diatribe about a team called the Ports in a city that’s 75 miles inland, until I found out Stockton actually is an inland sea port. So I’m backing off, Stockton. I’m backing off.


Saturday, July 17th:
San Francisco, CA (83 miles from Stockton)
San Francisco Giants vs. New York Mets

Nothing like a baseball game on a mid-summer’s night that’s 45 degrees with a 30 mile an hour wind. Really, AT&T Park is like the city itself – beautiful and well-designed. Just bring a hoodie… or three. And don’t think I won’t adjust our trip to match this stadium with a Tim Lincecum start.


Sunday, July 18th:
Travel day. Oh, who am I kidding. If you plan a six-month long cross-country trip, you’d better build in a day for the Wharf, Golden Gate Park, Alcatraz, Lombard Street… really, we could spend a week there. Of course, by mid-July, we might want to just sleep for a week.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 14: July 5th-11th, 2010

GABA 2010 started so innocently; blissful weeks in the Midwest and on the Eastern seaboard lulled us into believing this was easy. Well, this is the week we're proven wrong. Our goal is to see every full-season major and minor league stadium in baseball, and in Week 14, that means three trips of 500+ miles... in the same week. Can we get frequent flyer miles in a car?


Monday, July 5th:
Salt Lake City, UT (534 miles from Denver)
Salt Lake Bees (AAA Angels) vs. Tacoma Rainiers (AAA Mariners)

Another schedule must after Albuquerque-Colorado Springs-Denver is to hit the Beehive State. The Bees’ stadium is nicknamed ‘The Apiary’ (grab your nearest dictionary for that one). No promotion schedule is set, but I’m rooting for ‘Dress Like Your Favorite Osmond Night’.


Tuesday, July 6th:
Travel day. Two off days in a 3-day stretch? It’ll feel like a vacation… except we have almost 800 miles to cover before the next stop. By comparison, there’s a 10-day stretch in April where we don’t cover 800 miles total. If the GABA were a song, this is where it starts being “They’re Coming To Take Me Away”.


Wednesday, July 7th:
Portland, OR (4.7 million miles from Salt Lake City)
Portland Beavers (AAA Padres) vs. Las Vegas 51s (AAA Blue Jays)

It’s actually 767 miles from Mormon country to granola heaven. Portland’s the greenest city in the U.S. (environment, not Benjamins), so we’ll ride a Smart Car to PGE Park. Soy hot dogs and no-sugar-added Cracker Jack for everyone! Game is delayed 45 minutes when the Oregon State Beavers show up instead of the Padres farmhands.


Thursday, July 8th:
Tacoma, WA (143 miles from Portland)
Tacoma Rainiers (AAA Mariners) vs. Fresno Grizzlies (AAA Giants)

Years before it became chic to put your AAA club in your backyard, the Mariners sailed into Tacoma and claimed the Rainiers (chosen over other names like Cobains and Starbucks). Nick Lachey owns a stake in this team, so it’s time to bust out the Tony Romo jersey!


Friday, July 9th:
Seattle, WA (34 miles from Tacoma)
Seattle Mariners vs. New York Yankees

Before the game, Edgar Martinez and Ken Griffey Jr. will re-create “The Double”, Edgar’s 1995 ALDS-winning hit that saved baseball in Seattle. Griffey, now in his 40s, will need three times as long to round the bases, and will injure himself seven times along the way. Angered Yankee players will hit 20 home runs in the first inning, then try to sign Ichiro between innings.


Saturday, July 10th:
Travel day. We’re done with the Pacific Northwest (sorry, Northwest League – this GABA is for full-season teams only). It’s time to hop on Interstate 5, get behind the nearest cop, and book it for Cali.


Sunday, July 11th:
Sacramento, CA (752 miles from Seattle)
Sacramento River Cats (AAA Athletics) vs. Portland Beavers (AAA Padres)

It’s taken us almost 90 games to see our first Oakland Athletics farm team. Raley Field in Sacto is built ‘with expansion in mind’ in case a major league team wanted to relocate (hey Oakland – hint hint!). An annual attendance leader and two-time overall AAA champion, Sac-town might be the only place in the minors where players are actually upset when they’re called up to play for the major league A’s.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 13: June 28th-July 4th, 2010

GABA 2010 zooms right into the heat of summer by hitting the high altitudes. Yes, believe it or not, New Mexico and Colorado are the keys to baseball bliss. Here's Week 13:

Monday, June 28th:
Oklahoma City, OK (286 miles from Springfield)
Oklahoma City RedHawks (AAA Rangers) vs. Omaha Royals (AAA Royals)

Buckle in… the miles are about to start really piling up. Monday’s the best day to plop down at Bricktown… every seat in the house is 7 bucks, and Choc beer is just a dollar. It was either that or the Hubba Bubba Bubblegum bubble blowing contest (a weekend RedHawks tradition), and in the rock-paper-scissors hierarchy of promotions, beer beats gum. Sorry, it just does.


Tuesday, June 29th:
Travel day. Priority one, sober up from all the Choc beer the night before. Priority two, get a gas card. The next two weeks of the GABA are going to make the first three months look like a walk to your neighborhood softball diamond. We’ll be taking donations for the “GABA Private Plane” for this section of the trip.


Wednesday, June 30th:
Midland, TX (434 miles from Oklahoma City)
Texas League All-Star Game

OK, I cheated. There, I said it. I got it off my chest. Midland is 2,000 light years from any other baseball-playing city on Earth, and we have to start heading west. And the Texas League clearly went along with the plan by scheduling its All-Star Game in Midland while we’re passing through. Sorry, RockHounds… we’ll see you in August in Frisco.


Thursday, July 1st:
Albuquerque, NM (433 miles from Midland)
Albuquerque Isotopes (AAA Dodgers) vs. Oklahoma City RedHawks (AAA Rangers)

Have you ever wanted to schedule your own GABA? Listen (or read) closely. These four words are the secret – Albuquerque, Colorado Springs, Denver. It’s one freakin’ huge country out there, and if you don’t catch those three teams at home on consecutive days, you’re gonna be doing some weird LA-to-Denver-to-Atlanta-in-three-days trip. The first three games I filled in for this insane baseball concoction were… repeat it, kids… Albuquerque, Colorado Springs, Denver. And yes, the Isotopes are named for the Simpsons episode where the Springfield Isotopes relocate to Albuquerque.


Friday, July 2nd:
Colorado Springs, CO (378 miles from Albuquerque)
Colorado Springs Sky Sox (AAA Rockies) vs. Salt Lake Bees (AAA Angels)

The GABA hits a Rocky Mountain high – more than 6,500 feet above sea level. The Sky Sox are the only AAA affiliate the Rockies have ever had. Honestly, I’d type more, but I’m feeling a little light headed from the altitude, and I can’t get John Denver out of my head right now.


Saturday, July 3rd:
Denver, CO (72 miles from Colorado Springs)
Colorado Rockies vs. San Francisco Giants

Let’s see… in the last two months, we’ve seen two MLB games, and calling the Marlins “MLB” might be a stretch. Our oasis in the MLB desert is Coors Field, amazingly the fourth-oldest stadium in the National League. Think about that. The NL's relics are now Wrigley Field, Dodger Stadium, and the two stadiums from the 1993 expansion (Marlins, Rockies).


Sunday, July 4th:
Travel day. Picture it - random service shop in Wyoming or Utah that’s actually open on the 4th. “Hi, our car needs an oil change, new tires, and about 300 other parts replaced.” “Why the overhaul, sir?” “Well, we’re gonna drive it 18,000 miles in the next three months to watch baseball games.” (Random service dude passes out.)

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 12: June 21st-27th, 2010

It's been all fun and games on GABA 2010 so far, but that's about to change. Well, not really... we will still be watching games and having fun; we're just going to put insane miles on the car in between those games. Hit the road, jack... we're racking up the miles in Week 12:

Monday, June 21st:
Travel day. And boy, are we gonna need it. The big trip west is looming, and our next ten games are in ten different states.


Tuesday, June 22nd:
Montgomery, AL (91 miles from Birmingham)
Montgomery Biscuits (AA Rays) vs. West Tenn Diamond Jaxx (AA Mariners)

No, the miles of travel and days in the sun aren’t playing tricks on our minds; the mascot in Montgomery really is a buttermilk biscuit. In fact, biscuits are shot from an air cannon into the stands during games (much like Lambert’s in Foley!). The stadium’s built into an old train station, and the Rays are a prospect-producing factory. So at least Montgomery has the baseball experience going for it.


Wednesday, June 23rd:
New Orleans, LA (311 miles from Montgomery)
New Orleans Zephyrs (AAA Marlins) vs. Oklahoma City RedHawks (AAA Rangers)

The longest distance between cities so far (but nowhere near the distances we’re about to travel out west). Muffulettas, po’ boys and jambalaya are all on the ballpark menu, and there’s a swimming pool to cool us off and two hot tubs to warm us up. Plus, I can’t imagine what else there is to do in The Big Easy after the game. With all these distractions, it’s easy to forget you’re watching Marlins prospects. Is there such a thing?


Thursday, June 24th:
Pearl, MS (189 miles from New Orleans)
Mississippi Braves (AA Braves) vs. Mobile BayBears (AA D’Backs)

From the sinful decadence of New Orleans, we head to Mississippi, a state that repealed prohibition 30 years after the rest of the country. Fortunately, the beer flows at Trustmark Park, even in the Farm Bureau Grill restaurant. And I’m sure Jeff Francoeur will be there, working on his swing… oh wait, he’s with the Mets now. Scratch that.


Friday, June 25th:
Memphis, TN (213 miles from Pearl)
Memphis Redbirds (AAA Cardinals) vs. Nashville Sounds (AAA Brewers)

Two Tennessee teams tangle in a Pacific Coast League showdown! ‘Cause when I wanna grab my sandals and board shorts and head for the coast, Memphis is the first place that comes to my mind… Seriously, though, this is a cornerstone game of the trip. My wife’s a lifelong Cardinal fan, and our first baseball game together was at this park back in 2000. The only minor league stadium I’ve seen that can rival AutoZone Park is Dell Diamond in Round Rock. It’ll be a nice stroll down memory lane, walking in Memphis…


Saturday, June 26th:
Little Rock, AR (136 miles from Memphis)
Arkansas Travelers (AA Angels) vs. Northwest Arkansas Naturals (AA Royals)

Another intra-state rivalry in my wife’s hometown, so with family, I’m thinking we’ll need 4,000 tickets to this one. The Travs have a speed-eater’s dream, a 90-minute All-You-Can-Eat Picnic. We’re talking admission, burgers and dogs, beans, chips, popcorn, and soda for $13.50 a person. I’ll have a doctor on standby to check vitals as I gorge.


Sunday, June 27th:
Springfield, MO (215 miles from Little Rock)
Springfield Cardinals (AA Cardinals) vs. Tulsa Drillers (AA Rockies)

It’s funny, I could swear Springfield’s team was named the Isotopes. Hammons Field was actually built before the Cards came to town, which means Missouri State had one helluva baseball facility all to itself for a season. My wife will smile and soak in another batch of Cardinal prospects… and I’ll spend the whole time humming the theme to The Simpsons.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 11: June 14th-20th, 2010

Some unfinished business in Florida, food-gorging heaven on the Alabama coast (YES, there is actually coastline in Alabama), and Brett Favre's indecision crosses inter-sport lines. The GABA's in full swing with Week 11:


Monday, June 14th:
Jupiter, FL (111 miles from Viera)
Jupiter Hammerheads (A Marlins) vs. Charlotte Stone Crabs (A Rays)

Remember chase scenes from old cartoons, where the backdrop would start repeating itself? The Great American Baseball Adventure reaches that point on June 14th, when we visit Roger Dean Stadium… for the second time. The Hammerheads share the stadium with the Palm Beach Cardinals (June 8th). Now, if I see a sign near Jupiter that says ‘end of technicolor’, I’ll really get scared.


Tuesday, June 15th:
Miami Gardens, FL (75 miles from Jupiter)
Florida Marlins vs. Texas Rangers

Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Land Shark/Dorothy Zbornak-Rose Nylund Stadium has seen two World Series titles, but in between, it’s seen some of the worst baseball played this side of Nationals Park. It’s also a football stadium first, which is why it looks perpetually empty on TV (even when 50,000 show up, most of the outfield seating is closed). That doesn’t mean we won’t have fun playing games like ‘Spot the Native Floridian’ or ‘Guess Which Marlin Will Get Traded By The 6th Inning’.


Wednesday, June 16th:
Fort Myers, FL (145 miles from Miami Gardens)
Fort Myers Miracle (A Twins) vs. Palm Beach Cardinals (A Cardinals)

The ‘miracle’ here is that we haven’t passed out after 13 games in the Florida summer sun. Hammond Stadium is the Twins’ spring training home, and happens to be across the street from a ‘Citrus Center’ with the best orange ice cream I’ve ever had. But I digress. This game will be delayed for at least an hour while the two teams argue over which team’s home city has more palm trees.


Thursday, June 17th:
Bradenton, FL (89 miles from Fort Myers)
Bradenton TBA (A Pirates) vs. Jupiter Hammerheads (A Marlins)

Here’s a first – and only – on the 2010 GABA… seeing a brand new team! The Bradenton team was the Sarasota Reds before Cincy got all trendy and bolted for Arizona (how long before the Grapefruit league is just the Rays and Marlins playing each other over and over?). So the Pirates took over and moved the team a whopping 13 miles south to their spring home. Bradenton’s team is so new, it doesn’t even have a name yet. How catchy would the ‘Bradenton GABA’ sound? Ok, ok, moving on…


Friday, June 18th:
Clearwater, FL (45 miles from Bradenton)
Clearwater Threshers (A Phillies) vs. Tampa Yankees (A Yankees)

Get your fill of seafood, early bird specials and overpriced drinks… it’s our last night in Florida. By the way, a thresher is a type of shark. Or a machine that separates a grain stalk’s head from the straw. Since all farms in Clearwater are now condos with Spanish roofs, I’m going with the shark. I’m also predicting our first brawl here as lingering World Series tensions spill over into the minors.


Saturday, June 19th:
Mobile, AL (538 miles from Clearwater)
Mobile BayBears (AA D’Backs) vs. Tennessee Smokies (AA Cubs)

Two things will be on my mind as we pull into the Heart of Dixie. Lambert’s Café, the greatest restaurant in the known world, has a location in Foley. And Hank Aaron Stadium has luxury suites at field level, an incredibly original, novel idea that I’m shocked more teams don’t try. Not that we’ll have money for a suite after two and a half months on the road.


Sunday, June 20th:
Birmingham, AL (259 miles from Mobile)
Birmingham Barons (AA White Sox) vs. Jacksonville Suns (AA Marlins)

We’re a few weeks late for the Rickwood Classic, a AA-regulation game played in throwback jerseys at 100-year-old Rickwood Field on Birmingham’s West End. The annual game is June 2nd, and it’s a shame I couldn’t make the schedule work to get there. The Barons had Michael Jordan for a season, so maybe Brett Favre can don the Barons’ doubleknits while deciding if he’s coming back for a 316th NFL season.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 10: June 7th-13th, 2010

Hanging chads, alligators, and Mickey Mouse... it must be Florida, Florida, Florida! GABA Week 10 criss-crosses the Sunshine State:

Monday, June 7th:
Port Charlotte, FL (105 miles from Dunedin)
Charlotte Stone Crabs (A Rays) vs. Clearwater Threshers (A Phillies)

A team called the ‘Stone Crabs’ managed by a guy named Jim Morrison? That’s just too easy and I’m not going there. The ex-Rangers spring home was gobbled up by the Rays in 2009 when they realized it’s a drag having Spring Training across the street from your regular season home. The GABA research staff is investigating what the hell a ‘Thresher’ really is.


Tuesday, June 8th:
Jupiter, FL (144 miles from Port Charlotte)
Palm Beach Cardinals (A Cardinals) vs. Daytona Cubs (A Cubs)

Now we’re really getting into the heart of the Sunshine State. Roger Dean Stadium is built into a planned, mixed-use community with business and apartments literally across the street. Gucci handbags and wallets are required to enter, and non-millionaires are banished to the bleacher seats.


Wednesday, June 9th:
Port St. Lucie, FL (33 miles from Jupiter)
St. Lucie Mets (A Mets) vs. Jupiter Hammerheads (A Marlins)

Our second (and not last) time seeing the Hammerheads on the road. Wednesday is Wii Wednesday at Tradition Field, where you can win the popular video game system by playing Wii Home Run Derby. And if you’ve never played it before, here’s a warning: two rounds of HR Derby and you won’t be able to move your upper body for a few days. Doesn’t mean I won’t play, though.


Thursday, June 10th:
Daytona Beach, FL (150 miles from Port St. Lucie)
Daytona Cubs (A Cubs) vs. Brevard County Manatees (A Brewers)

This was our nearest ballpark when we lived in Orlando, and home to some great memories. There are plaques all around the stadium commemorating Jackie Robinson, who was allowed to play at Daytona when other cities weren’t so tolerant. We’re missing Belly Buster Monday, maybe the best promotion in the minors (10 bucks for a seat and all-you-can-eat burgers, hot dogs, pizza, popcorn and peanuts), but Thirsty Thursday (dollar beers) is a close second. Blueberry beer, here we come!


Friday, June 11th:
St. Petersburg, FL (161 miles from Daytona Beach)
Tampa Bay Rays vs. Florida Marlins

The FSL is on All-Star break, so we’ll shoot across I-4 to Tropicana Field, which looks like a spaceship landed on its side. The two Florida MLB teams plan to get together and talk about how they’ve made 3 World Series in their combined 29 seasons. And somewhere, at that exact moment, Cubs players will get really, really jealous.


Saturday, June 12th:
Viera, FL (151 miles from Tampa)
Florida State League All-Star Game

Note to self: when planning future GABAs, don’t go to Florida in mid-June. It’s 150 degrees in the shade, plus the FSL goes on its All-Star break. So to make the schedule work, we have to go to an All-Star Game here, instead of a regular-season Brevard County Manatees game. Then again, I’ve always been confused by the Manatees, a Brewers farm team playing in the Nationals’ spring training home.


Sunday, June 13th:
Travel day. I’m making my wife sit through 150 baseball games in all corners of the globe, so she gets this day to ride every ride at every Disney park in Florida. Think we can convince Disney we’re still eligible for the Florida residents’ discount?

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 9: May 31st-June 6th, 2010

We're reaching the point in GABA 2010 where my wife reaches over and slaps me upside the head for scheduling games in the Deep South and Florida as the summer's heating up. Grab your beach sandals and bingo cards... we're heading south and into Florida for Week 9:

Monday, May 31^st:

Augusta, GA (192 miles from Kannapolis)

Augusta Greenjackets (A Giants) vs. Asheville Tourists (A Rockies)

We go from a racing hotbed to a team named after the prize for winning a golf tournament. Lake Olmstead Stadium doesn’t come with its own practice green, but it is next to an actual lake. No word if a homer hit into that lake means a one-stroke penalty. I might find out by the 7^th inning, since it’s two-for-one beer night.

Tuesday, June 1^st:

Charleston, SC (182 miles from Augusta)

Charleston RiverDogs (A Yankees) vs. Hickory Crawdads (A Rangers)

Charleston’s next on the GABA restraining order list - three RiverDogs games in six days in three different cities. I’m not sure what a RiverDog really is, and it’s even more confusing since Charleston’s near something much larger than a river. But I’ll bet vacationing celebs on the Carolina coast drop by. Snoop RiverDogg!

Wednesday, June 2^nd:

Savannah, GA (107 miles from Charleston)

Savannah Sand Gnats (A Mets) vs. Asheville Tourists (A Rockies)

We’re done with the Carolinas, and we’re heading toward Florida just as summer’s starting. Uh-oh… at least Savannah’s a cool town to visit. Borat once sang his national anthem at Grayson Stadium, billed as the oldest working minor-league park in America. Plus, seeing Tourists try to fend off Sand Gnats is a perfect metaphor for our trip at this point.

Thursday, June 3^rd:

Jacksonville, FL (140 miles from Savannah)

Jacksonville Suns (AA Marlins) vs. Carolina Mudcats (AA Reds)

Our first home-and-home! We saw these two teams in the Carolinas back on May 15^th. Now they’ll meet on the Suns’ turf, which is appropriate since we’ll be spending the next 15 days baking in the Florida sun. This stadium was actually our first as a married couple back in ‘07 – second row, next to the Suns’ dugout. Did my wife have any idea what she was getting into?

Friday, June 4^th:

Lakeland, FL (195 miles from Jacksonville)

Lakeland Flying Tigers (A Tigers) vs. Bradenton TBA (A Pirates)

The whirlwind Florida State League tour begins. People showing us pictures of their grandkids and driving 30 mph on interstates for two solid weeks. By the time it’s over, we’ll be eating supper at Morrison’s at 3PM every day and complaining that stuff costs more than it used to. I actually caught my first MLB foul ball at Joker Marchant Stadium in spring training, and to this day, I still don’t know who hit it. I was near the concession stand and this ball shot through some trees and rolled to me. All my blind luck gone in one shot.

Saturday, June 5^th:

Tampa, FL (35 miles from Lakeland)

Tampa Yankees (A Yankees) vs. Jupiter Hammerheads (A Cardinals)

Sharing a city with an MLB club? No worries for the Yanks. I’ll bet these single-A boys outdrew the Rays for the first 10 years of the MLB team’s existence. George Steinbrenner Field has a heavy Yankee Stadium influence, except seats behind home plate don’t cost seven months’ salary and Steinbrenner doesn’t come down to fire the manager between innings. Although that would be a great promotion…

Sunday, June 6^th:

Dunedin, FL (26 miles from Tampa)

Dunedin Blue Jays (A Blue Jays) vs. St. Lucie Mets (A Mets)

Dunedin Stadium gets high marks from SI as the Jays’ spring home, but I give it high marks for dropping corporatized-name Knology Park last year. True story: when MLB wanted to use scabs during the ’95 strike, the replacement Jays would’ve played their home games in Dunedin because of Ontario laws about replacement workers. And because the scabs didn’t want to play baseball anywhere it snows in May.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 8: May 24th-30th, 2010

Durham Bulls, Asheville Tourists... they're not just in movies; they're real-life teams! GABA 2010, Week 8 chows down on some Carolina cookin'... just watch out for lugnuts in Kannapolis. They're not as crunchy as you think. Here's Week 8:

Monday, May 24^th:

Durham, NC (57 miles from Greensboro)

Durham Bulls (AAA Rays) vs. Pawtucket Red Sox (AAA Red Sox)

It’s hard to come up with a more classic minor league stop than this one. The old bull’s still hanging in the concourse of the Bulls’ new stadium. And at some point, Crash Davis will crouch behind home plate, get shaken off by Nuke LaLoosh, and tip off the next pitch that’s coming. The real-life Bulls are defending AAA champs, proof that ‘hit bull win steak’ really is a great life motto.

Tuesday, May 25^th:

Hickory, NC (151 miles from Durham)

Hickory Crawdads (A Rangers) vs. Delmarva Shorebirds (A Orioles)

I’ll get to spend birthday number 36 in a town started when a man built a tavern of logs under a hickory tree. I can’t make this stuff up. One night last August, the Crawdads let anyone with the first name ‘Michael’ or last name ‘Jackson’ into the stadium for free. And there isn’t a ticket in the stadium more than nine bucks. Classic GABA stuff!

Wednesday, May 26^th:

Asheville, NC (79 miles from Hickory)

Asheville Tourists (A Rockies) vs. Greensboro Grasshoppers (A Marlins)

Apparently the Rockies like their prospects to play in elevation as part of their training. McCormick Field’s no Biltmore House, but it’s 86 years old and Tourists’ manager Joe Mikulik once threw the best tirade in the history of tirades. Lou Piniella was seen blushing. I can identify with the Tourists, since that’s exactly what we’ve been for two months straight, and will be for four months to come.

Thursday, May 27^th:

Greenville, SC (63 miles from Asheville)

Greenville Drive (A Red Sox) vs. Charleston RiverDogs (A Yankees)

Red Sox. Yankees. Baseball’s fiercest, nastiest rivalry, a bitter conflict between two proud, sometimes obnoxious Northern cities, played out in… South Carolina?! Flour Field at the West End is even built like a mini-Fenway, Monstah and all. This might be a good game to stage a protest against singular nicknames… Greenville Drive is a street address, not a team name!

Friday, May 28^th:

Fort Mill, SC (103 miles from Greenville)

Charlotte Knights (AAA White Sox) vs. Indianapolis Indians (AAA Pirates)

You read that right. The Charlotte Knights don’t play in Charlotte… they don’t even play in North Carolina. Knights Stadium’s even built to MLB specs in case Charlotte lands an MLB franchise one day. Although a 10,000 seat stadium might still look empty if the Expos had moved there. This castle marks game #50 – 1/3 of the way through GABA 2010!

Saturday, May 29^th:

Kannapolis, NC (29 miles from Fort Mill)

Kannapolis Intimidators (A White Sox) vs. Charleston RiverDogs (A Yankees)

Baseball’s a little different in the heart of NASCAR country. Relief pitchers speed in from the bullpen in brand new Mustangs. Mound visits and stadium repairs must all be done in 14 seconds or less. Runners round the bases just inches from each other to help aerodynamics. And a prospect’s 95 mile an hour fastball is referred to as “2^nd gear”. And yes, number 3 is retired, in memory of the real Intimidator.

Sunday, May 30^th:

Travel day. I’m envisioning knocking on the doors of Roush Fenway Racing, Hendrick Motorsports, and all the other NASCAR outfits near Charlotte, begging for jobs as we realize that we will have no life to go to once this trip ends. This from a guy who once poured motor oil in the windshield wiper compartment of my car.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 7: May 17th-23rd, 2010

GABA 2010, Week 7: All about the Eastern seaboard. We'll be knee-deep in Sally League and Carolina League action in a week long on Southern charm. Week 7, I declare!

Monday, May 17^th:

Kinston, NC (171 miles from Myrtle Beach)

Kinston Indians (A Indians) vs. Salem Red Sox (A Red Sox)

Can we just board the Salem team bus from Myrtle Beach to Kinston? Our 15^th stop in 15 days is chock full of Southern baseball history. Kinston’s now in its second century of minor league ball, and 60-year-old Grainger Stadium doesn’t have a seat farther than 53 feet from the action. Apparently, an old Kinston manager once got ejected, dressed up as the mascot, and went back to the Kinston dugout. This, folks, is a real-life “Bull Durham”.

Tuesday, May 18^th:

Travel day. Or we might just follow the Salem Red Sox around Kinston all day, just to keep the stalking theme going.

Wednesday, May 19^th:

Norfolk, VA (168 miles from Kinston)

Norfolk Tides (AAA Orioles) vs. Pawtucket Red Sox (AAA Red Sox)

The city that once tried to land the Expos is now home to the Orioles’ top farm team. 24 different Tides players from last year also played in the majors, which is a kind way of saying the Orioles needed a lot of help in 2009. This game will be stopped for 15 minutes as Norfolk fans laugh uncontrollably at Red Sox faithful trying to pronounce the Tides’ stadium, Harbor Park.

Thursday, May 20^th:

Lynchburg, VA (190 miles from Norfolk)

Lynchburg Hillcats (A Reds) vs. Wilmington Blue Rocks (A Royals)

What, a Carolina League game that doesn’t involve the Salem Red Sox? Blasphemy! Lynchburg did beat Salem for the League title in 2009 (maybe the last time the Pirates beat the Red Sox at anything) before switching affiliations for ‘10. The City of Seven Hills boasts a renovated, 70-year old stadium, and actor Skeet Ulrich. What else do you need, people?

Friday, May 21^st:

Salem, VA (68 miles from Lynchburg)

Salem Red Sox (A Red Sox) vs. Potomac Nationals (A Nationals)

I swear we don’t own any stock in the Salem Red Sox, although we might by this point. It’s our 4^th time to see Salem, but our first time checking out their home digs, and their mascots “Lefty” and “Righty” (two socks, distinctly marked with an “L” and an “R”). Word has it “Lefty” will be converted to a situational reliever for 2010.

Saturday, May 22^nd:

Winston-Salem, NC (140 miles from Salem)

Winston-Salem Dash (A White Sox) vs. Lynchburg Hillcats (A Reds)

What better way to start our mad “dash” through the Tar Heel State? The Dash move into a brand new park in ’10, complete with luxury suites. Yep, luxury suites… in a single-A park. For an extra few bucks, Ozzie Guillen will go off on random, highly amusing tirades on a TV monitor in your suite. Sweet!

Sunday, May 23^rd:

Greensboro, NC (29 miles from Winston-Salem)

Greensboro Grasshoppers (A Marlins) vs. Lexington Legends (A Astros)

The shortest trip all year between minor league parks, so there’ll be plenty of time to, uh, do whatever it is people do in the Triad. Sadly, Greensboro’s old World War Memorial Stadium gave way to a modern yard in 2005, but like Elton John, it’s still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah!). 8 Sally League games in 11 days, and I'm talking real, fried-okra-and-catfish South Atlantic, not that Lakewood New Jersey, how-did-we-get-stuck-in-this-league stuff.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 6: May 10th-16th, 2010

Flying Squirrels, Mudcats, Pelicans, and Baysox... we must be hitting the nitty-gritty of the low minors. Seven games in five states in seven days... Week 6 of GABA 2010:


Monday, May 10th:
Altoona, PA (130 miles from Frederick)
Altoona Curve (AA Pirates) vs. Harrisburg Senators (AA Nationals)

We had to catch Frederick on the 9th because they were headed on the road, so now we retrace our steps back to the Keystone State. Altoona has one of the best-kept secrets in the minor leagues, Blair County Stadium - mountain views, and even a roller-coaster just outside the right field wall. So unlike the Curve’s big league club, there are highs to go with the lows in Altoona.


Tuesday, May 11th:
Woodbridge, VA (190 miles from Altoona)
Potomac Nationals (A Nationals) vs. Winston-Salem Dash (A White Sox)

Woodbridge is so close to DC, you can almost hear the bureaucracy. We’re in a stretch of seeing Nationals’ farm teams four times in five days, which brings an idea to my clearly idle mind. Maybe I can try out for one of these Nats’ minor league squads! I hear scouts stand around the ‘guess your speed’ booths, and immediately put a uniform on anyone who can throw over 75. Good news is, one of these games has to feature Stephen Strasburg, right?


Wednesday, May 12th:
Hagerstown, MD (85 miles from Woodbridge)
Hagerstown Suns (A Nationals) vs. West Virginia Power (A Pirates)

At this point, we’ll be starting to wonder if every minor league team is affiliated with either the Nationals or the Pirates. Municipal Stadium turns 80 in 2010, and it’s our only chance to see the Hagerstown franchise all year, so we’ll spend this night soaking up the Suns! Wow. An incredibly lame reference, but what do you expect after 35 baseball games in 38 days?


Thursday, May 13th:
Bowie, MD (81 miles from Hagerstown)
Bowie Baysox (AA Orioles) vs. Erie SeaWolves (AA Tigers)

The Mid-Atlantic section of the GABA is great because every team we see is about 7 city blocks from the one before it. Bowie’s Prince George’s Stadium used to play host to the U.S. Congressional Baseball Game, a summer tradition where Republicans and Democrats duke it out on the diamond. The world’s problems should be sorted out on a baseball diamond.


Friday, May 14th:
Richmond, VA (128 miles from Bowie)
Richmond Flying Squirrels (AA Giants) vs. Altoona Curve (AA Pirates)

The ex-Connecticut Defenders have moved south for 2010. Now, they’re transplanted Northerners, getting strange looks for their peculiar accents and for wearing shorts when it’s 45 degrees outside. The excitement of seeing baseball’s return to Richmond might be tainted when the town wakes up in the 5th inning and realizes that they really did name this team the Flying Squirrels.


Saturday, May 15th:
Zebulon, NC (149 miles from Richmond)
Carolina Mudcats (AA Reds) vs. Jacksonville Suns (AA Marlins)

Our first taste of Southern League baseball and the Tar Heel State (we’ll spend a solid week there later in the month). This is the 20th season of Carolina Mudcats baseball, which really makes me feel old since I remember when they left Columbus, Georgia. We can hang with Muddy the Mudcat, dine at Cattails Restaurant, and debate whether North Carolina should trade in its 4,000 minor league teams for a single MLB franchise.


Sunday, May 16th:
Myrtle Beach, SC (209 miles from Zebulon)
Myrtle Beach Pelicans (A Braves) vs. Salem Red Sox (A Red Sox)

Yes, they do allow baseball in South Carolina on Sundays! It’s our one chance to see the Pelicans, the only Braves minor league franchise not called ‘Braves’ or actually owned by the parent team. BB&T Coastal Park has been called one of the top single-A stadiums in the country. And yet, we’ll be tempted to drift off to the beautiful beach by the later innings. Ahh… what baseball trip? Ok, snap back, Holden, snap back!!

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 5: May 3rd-9th, 2010

Fenway Park, tax-free shopping in Delaware, and the legend of Milton Bradley in central Pennsylvania... GABA 2010 is officially in full-swing! Here's the Week 5 schedule:

Monday, May 3^rd:

Boston, MA (108 miles from Portland)

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels

Here’s something strange: this is the only time we’ll see the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Southern California of the Known Baseball Universe (our Angel Stadium trip in July is for the MLB All-Star Game). Sox are starting an 11-game homestand after spending a week on the road. To get tickets for this game, I plan to take a time machine back to 2001 and steal them from a season-ticket holder. Pole-obstructed seats, here we come!

Tuesday, May 4^th:

Lakewood Township, NJ (283 miles from Boston)

Lakewood BlueClaws (A Phillies) vs. Charleston RiverDogs (A Yankees)

The GABA is done with New England, so it’s time to head south. So far south that we’re hitting the South Atlantic League… in New Jersey?! Can’t imagine BlueClaws fans have much in common with, say, Kannapolis Intimidators fans. Seniors eat free every Tuesday night at FirstEnergy Park. Time to don the Wilford Brimley mask!

Wednesday, May 5^th:

Salisbury, MD (194 miles from Lakewood Township)

Delmarva Shorebirds (A Orioles) vs. Savannah Sand Gnats (A Mets)

A little geography lesson here: Delmarva isn’t a failed ’80s big hair band, it’s the East Coast peninsula shared by Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia. So why isn’t it called the Delmarvir? Shorebirds and Sand Gnats… sounds a lot like a vacation in the Louisiana swamp.

Thursday, May 6^th:

Wilmington, DE (105 miles from Salisbury)

Wilmington Blue Rocks (A Royals) vs. Salem Red Sox (A Red Sox)

Our first look at the Carolina League, in the home of tax-free shopping, Delaware! Wilmington’s basically suburban Philly, and I-95 almost runs down the left field line, so it’s a surprise the Blue Rocks aren’t a Phillies affiliate. Just think, when the Royals trade away their best players for minor leaguers you’ve never heard of, this is where those minor leaguers come to play!

Friday, May 7^th:

Allentown, PA (81 miles from Wilmington)

Lehigh Valley IronPigs (AAA Phillies) vs. Columbus Clippers (AAA Nationals)

Well, we’re waiting here in Allentown… for the Philly cheese steak we never found… The IronPigs used to play in Ottawa, but the Phillies moved them south in ’07, meaning the “International League” has nothing but U.S. teams in it. Brilliant! Coca-Cola Field has a socializing/sud-guzzling place in right field called the Bud Light Trough. I’m not kidding. So if I scream “bacon!”, will it send IronPigs fans scurrying down the aisles?

Saturday, May 8^th:

Harrisburg, PA (87 miles from Allentown)

Harrisburg Senators (AA Nationals) vs. Richmond Flying Squirrels (AA Giants)

Milton Bradley once hit a championship-winning, walk-off grand slam as a Harrisburg Senator. No word on whether he then fought with, threw objects at, or spat in the face of any fans, umpires, or innocent bystanders. The Senators’ home is literally in an island on the Susquehanna River – scenic, plus for 10 bucks we can get front row seats and listen to the Harrisburg players pray to get traded out of the Nationals organization.

Sunday, May 9^th:

Frederick, MD (72 miles from Harrisburg)

Frederick Keys (A Orioles) vs. Wilmington Blue Rocks (A Royals)

Frederick Keys may sound like some Luther Vandross R&B clone, but it’s really a Carolina League team that’s a stone’s throw from its parent club in Maryland. Harry Grove Stadium is renovated and ready for 2010; in fact, you can go to the team’s website and see proudly displayed pictures of the newly-remodeled restrooms! If the Keys ever leave Frederick, they could move to Florida… and have a perfectly fitting name.