Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 5: May 3rd-9th, 2010

Fenway Park, tax-free shopping in Delaware, and the legend of Milton Bradley in central Pennsylvania... GABA 2010 is officially in full-swing! Here's the Week 5 schedule:

Monday, May 3^rd:

Boston, MA (108 miles from Portland)

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels

Here’s something strange: this is the only time we’ll see the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Southern California of the Known Baseball Universe (our Angel Stadium trip in July is for the MLB All-Star Game). Sox are starting an 11-game homestand after spending a week on the road. To get tickets for this game, I plan to take a time machine back to 2001 and steal them from a season-ticket holder. Pole-obstructed seats, here we come!

Tuesday, May 4^th:

Lakewood Township, NJ (283 miles from Boston)

Lakewood BlueClaws (A Phillies) vs. Charleston RiverDogs (A Yankees)

The GABA is done with New England, so it’s time to head south. So far south that we’re hitting the South Atlantic League… in New Jersey?! Can’t imagine BlueClaws fans have much in common with, say, Kannapolis Intimidators fans. Seniors eat free every Tuesday night at FirstEnergy Park. Time to don the Wilford Brimley mask!

Wednesday, May 5^th:

Salisbury, MD (194 miles from Lakewood Township)

Delmarva Shorebirds (A Orioles) vs. Savannah Sand Gnats (A Mets)

A little geography lesson here: Delmarva isn’t a failed ’80s big hair band, it’s the East Coast peninsula shared by Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia. So why isn’t it called the Delmarvir? Shorebirds and Sand Gnats… sounds a lot like a vacation in the Louisiana swamp.

Thursday, May 6^th:

Wilmington, DE (105 miles from Salisbury)

Wilmington Blue Rocks (A Royals) vs. Salem Red Sox (A Red Sox)

Our first look at the Carolina League, in the home of tax-free shopping, Delaware! Wilmington’s basically suburban Philly, and I-95 almost runs down the left field line, so it’s a surprise the Blue Rocks aren’t a Phillies affiliate. Just think, when the Royals trade away their best players for minor leaguers you’ve never heard of, this is where those minor leaguers come to play!

Friday, May 7^th:

Allentown, PA (81 miles from Wilmington)

Lehigh Valley IronPigs (AAA Phillies) vs. Columbus Clippers (AAA Nationals)

Well, we’re waiting here in Allentown… for the Philly cheese steak we never found… The IronPigs used to play in Ottawa, but the Phillies moved them south in ’07, meaning the “International League” has nothing but U.S. teams in it. Brilliant! Coca-Cola Field has a socializing/sud-guzzling place in right field called the Bud Light Trough. I’m not kidding. So if I scream “bacon!”, will it send IronPigs fans scurrying down the aisles?

Saturday, May 8^th:

Harrisburg, PA (87 miles from Allentown)

Harrisburg Senators (AA Nationals) vs. Richmond Flying Squirrels (AA Giants)

Milton Bradley once hit a championship-winning, walk-off grand slam as a Harrisburg Senator. No word on whether he then fought with, threw objects at, or spat in the face of any fans, umpires, or innocent bystanders. The Senators’ home is literally in an island on the Susquehanna River – scenic, plus for 10 bucks we can get front row seats and listen to the Harrisburg players pray to get traded out of the Nationals organization.

Sunday, May 9^th:

Frederick, MD (72 miles from Harrisburg)

Frederick Keys (A Orioles) vs. Wilmington Blue Rocks (A Royals)

Frederick Keys may sound like some Luther Vandross R&B clone, but it’s really a Carolina League team that’s a stone’s throw from its parent club in Maryland. Harry Grove Stadium is renovated and ready for 2010; in fact, you can go to the team’s website and see proudly displayed pictures of the newly-remodeled restrooms! If the Keys ever leave Frederick, they could move to Florida… and have a perfectly fitting name.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 4: April 26th-May 2nd, 2010

The Great American Baseball Adventure has already seen three weeks and 19 games, but the party's just getting started! Bust out the clam chow-dah, cause we're headin' for a weekend in New England in Week 4 (cheesy Barry Manilow songs not included):

Monday, April 26^th:

Reading, PA (99 miles from Moosic)

Reading Phillies (AA Phillies) vs. Harrisburg Senators (AA Nationals)

Week four of the GABA has five Eastern League games in six days. Give the Phillies credit for having all their minor league teams are right in the big club’s backyard. Maybe that’s to get their players acclimated to the climate, or to Philly cheese steaks. Reading’s ‘Gluttony Night’ was one of the minors’ top promotions in 2009, with 40,000 food and soda items devoured. I’m hoping April 26^th, 2010 is “Gluttony Night 2, Electric Boogaloo.”

Tuesday, April 27^th:

Trenton, NJ (82 miles from Reading)

Trenton Thunder (AA Yankees) vs. New Hampshire Fisher Cats (AA Blue Jays)

We cross the Delaware River into New Jersey, home of… of… of… John Bon Jovi. And some really good minor league ball, apparently. The Thunder won back-to-back Eastern League titles in ’07 and ’08, and there’s always the chance Roger Clemens could be on rehab while plotting another comeback at age 68. No offense to Trenton, but we won’t be staying there overnight – we’ve got to cross through NYC, something best done really, really late at night. And preferably without stopping.

Wednesday, April 28^th:

New Britain, CT (179 miles from Trenton)

New Britain Rock Cats (AA Twins) vs. Richmond Flying Squirrels (AA Giants)

This was going to be a battle for Connecticut minor league baseball supremacy, but the Connecticut Defenders bolted for Richmond, leaving the Rock Cats as the only baseball entertainment for ESPN employees tucked away in nearby Bristol. That is, if you don’t count New York or Boston, but what do those places have on New Britain anyway? New Britain Stadium has the Sam Adams Bar & Grill, a surefire sign that the GABA has reached New England. Break out the chow-dah!

Thursday, April 29^th:

Pawtucket, RI (112 miles from New Britain)

Pawtucket Red Sox (AAA Red Sox) vs. Indianapolis Indians (AAA Pirates)

Ultra-modern, super-uber techonology filled stadiums with iPod charging stations and robots serving quiche are just fine. But I’m really hyped about McCoy Stadium, built during World War II and still going strong. Yes, it’s been renovated, but it’s still a throwback to much simpler days when a player’s contract, signing bonus, and agent’s name weren’t his most important stats. The seats are elevated off the field, so fans put items on makeshift ‘fishing poles’ to get autographs. Now that’s old school. No granite countertops, no stainless steel appliances. Sorry… slipped into HGTV mode there.

Friday, April 30^th:

Manchester, NH (94 miles from Pawtucket)

New Hampshire Fisher Cats (AA Blue Jays) vs. Reading Phillies (AA Phillies)

Add New Hampshire to the list of teams who’ll be filing a restraining order against us. Three Fisher Cats games in three different cities in less than a month. When the Fisher Cats moved to Manchester, they were supposed to be called the New Hampshire Primaries… and it’s a travesty that name didn’t hold up. Maybe we can vote in the 2012 Presidential election after this game.

Saturday, May 1^st:

Portland, ME (96 miles from Manchester)

Portland Sea Dogs (AA Red Sox) vs. New Britain Rock Cats (AA Twins)

Let’s see… a former high school field converted to a mini-Fenway, complete with a mini-Monstah in left field, and the chance to play “Which Celebrity’s On Vacation On The Maine Coast”? Wicked cool! Do they serve lobstah… I mean, lobster? The GABA isn’t even a month old and we’ve passed the 2,500 mile mark. Only 25,000 miles to go!

Sunday, May 2^nd:

Travel day. By New England law, the only activities allowed on Sundays are heaping praises on Tom Brady and Randy Moss, or dumping tea into harbors.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 3: April 19th-25th, 2010

Here's the third installment of the craziest baseball trip known to man - GABA 2010, the quest to see every full-season major and minor league baseball team in one season. In week 3, we'd be heading through upstate New York and seeing the only out-of-country game in the entire trip.

Monday, April 19^th:

Buffalo, NY (94 miles from Erie)

Buffalo Bisons (AAA Mets) vs. Scranton-Wilkes Barre Yankees (AAA Yankees)

Yes, it’ll probably still be 10 below zero in mid-April in Buffalo. But the Bisons play at a field that was actually a fore-runner of Camden Yards, Coca-Cola Field, built in 1988 but all retro and city-fied. And where else can you see Mets and Yankees players duke it out without playing $12,000 for a ticket and a hot dog? Maybe all those injured Mets from 2009 will be on rehab when we’re there. OK, that was just a low blow. Sorry.

Tuesday, April 20^th:

Toronto, Ontario, Canada (99 miles from Buffalo)

Toronto Blue Jays vs. Kansas City Royals

Our only game outside the United States. I’m thinking center-field hotel room at Rogers Centre. My wife and I can have a nice romantic dinner of peanuts and Cracker Jack, take in some Canadian baseball, then play games like “Guess The Kansas City Royal Player”, all while “Rush’s Greatest Hits” plays on the speaker at the hotel. Great idea, eh?

Wednesday, April 21^st:

Travel day. Except we’ll probably stay in Toronto and soak up the city… that is, if we’re not dead tired after 14 straight days of baseball.

Thursday, April 22^nd:

Rochester, NY (169 miles from Toronto)

Rochester Red Wings (AAA Twins) vs. Buffalo Bisons (AAA Mets)

Rochester boasts the oldest and longest-running minor league franchise in pro sports. They’ve been around so long that they retired the jersey number 8,222 (true story). Before the game, Twins officials will reportedly thank the Mets organization for the 56 prospects they got in the Johan Santana deal.

Friday, April 23^rd:

Syracuse, NY (87 miles from Rochester)

Syracuse Chiefs (AAA Nationals) vs. Rochester Red Wings (AAA Twins)

The Bisons followed us from Buffalo to Rochester, so why not have the Wings follow us from Rochester to the ‘Cuse? I’ll admit, I’m a little worried about this one. I always joke that the Nationals are a AAA team playing in the majors, so what does that make their actual AAA team? Can my wife and I play the middle infield at some point this night?

Saturday, April 24^th:

Binghamton, NY (74 miles from Syracuse)

Binghamton Mets (AA Mets) vs. New Hampshire Fisher Cats (AA Blue Jays)

It strikes me I should’ve worked in an extra day to visit the Hall of Fame somewhere near here. Instead, we’re going to see Mets prospects three times in one week, although this may be another food-focused night. The B-Mets feature a ‘chicken spiedie’ - cubes of chicken, marinated overnight, grilled, and served on a submarine roll, skewer included. You can also get a ribeye steak sandwich. It’ll be a great time to eat for the first time since ingesting that Fifth Third Burger 11 days earlier in Michigan.

Sunday, April 25^th:

Moosic, PA (68 miles from Binghamton)

Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (AAA Yankees) vs. Lehigh Valley IronPigs (AAA Phillies)

Madonna once said Moosic makes the people come together, and we’ll be playing that funky Moosic on a Sunday afternoon in the hills of Pennsylvania. I’m fully expecting the Yankees to have Joba Chamberlain start this game, call him up in the 4^th, send him back down in the 7^th and make him pitch the 8^th and 9^th, but not on a high pitch count. Loser of this game has to play in the Little League World Series in Williamsport.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 2: April 12th-18th, 2010

One week into 2010's Great American Baseball Adventure, and we've already seen six games in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Michigan. We won't leave those three states in Week 2, but we will gain about 10 pounds thanks to one of baseball's ultimate food challenges... here's week 2 of GABA 2010:


Monday, April 12th:
Midland, MI (128 miles from Detroit)
Great Lakes Loons (A Dodgers) vs. Lansing Lugnuts (A Blue Jays)

The GABA is all about games like this. A team called the Loons versus a team called the Lugnuts, in a town I had to look up on Yahoo maps. It’s the second time in four days we’ll be watching the Lugnuts as the road team. I wonder if any Lugnut players will do a double-take: “Hey, isn’t that the same guy who was wearing armor in Dayton a few days ago?”


Tuesday, April 13th:
Comstock Park, MI (106 miles from Midland)
West Michigan Whitecaps (A Tigers) vs. Fort Wayne TinCaps (A Padres)

Nestled in the ‘burbs of Grand Rapids is… you guessed it… Fifth Third Ballpark (sheesh!). The Whitecaps are 5-time Midwest League Champs, but this night will be about food, specifically the most disgusting, most enticing delicacy in all of minor league sports – the Fifth Third Burger (there’s that annoying fraction again). Picture a 4 pound, 4,800 calorie artery-clogger so bad that doctors actually want the team to label it a ‘dietary disaster’. The Man vs. Food guy ate one in 2009, and I’ll be ready to tackle the 1.666 pounds of meat (5/3 pounds – get it?) and take home the T-shirt. Maybe we should build in an off-day for an EKG.


Wednesday, April 14th:
Lansing, MI (72 miles from Comstock Park)
Lansing Lugnuts (A Blue Jays) vs. Lake County Captains (A Indians)

It’s official. We’re stalking the Lansing Lugnuts in the opening weeks of GABA 2010. For the third time in six days, we’ll see the Lugnuts try to tighten down the opposition, except this time it’ll be at Lansing’s yard, Oldsmobile Park (hey, a stadium without Fifth or Third in the title!). We’ll have just missed Dollar Dog Tuesday, but I’m sure I’ll still be full from Tuesday’s burger-blitz. Which reminds me, how much weight can you gain eating ballpark food every night for 6 months? It’s like Jared in reverse!


Thursday, April 15th:
Cleveland, OH (233 miles from Lansing)
Cleveland Indians vs. Texas Rangers

No truth to the rumor that Progressive Field will be replaced in 2010 by a large, all-white room with an annoying, bubbly girl trying to sell car insurance. Gotta share one of my great ballpark tales here. Our only game in Cleveland was in 2008, with my Aunt Fran in attendance. Interleague game. Three hour rain delay. Chilly winds from the lake. Horrible relief pitching. And yet my Aunt (in her 70s) stuck through it all with us, saw the Indians win, and watched the fireworks show… at 1:30AM. My wife wants center-field seats this time. For some reason, she wants to sit directly behind Grady Sizemore. Hmm…


Friday, April 16th:
Akron, OH (40 miles from Cleveland)
Akron Aeros (AA Indians) vs. Bowie Baysox (AA Orioles)

It’s so close, we could actually swim down the Ohio and Erie Canal from Cleveland to this game. The Aeros won the Eastern League title in 2009. And the Goodyear plant is in Akron. And now I’ve run out of things to say about Akron.


Saturday, April 17th:
Eastlake, OH (48 miles from Akron)
Lake County Captains (A Indians) vs. Fort Wayne TinCaps (A Padres)

Back up to suburban Cleveland to see the Captains, who are switching to the Midwest League from the South Atlantic League. Seriously, the South Atlantic League? Nothing beats low-minor league road trips in a rickety old bus from northern Ohio to Augusta, Georgia. The teams are repeating themselves – we’ve seen both these teams within the previous week. Our 7th – and final – game in the state of Ohio, which means we’re headed east and about to starting rolling the odometer.


Sunday, April 18th:
Erie, PA (90 miles from Eastlake)
Erie SeaWolves (AA Tigers) vs. Altoona Curve (AA Pirates)

ESPN calls Erie’s Jerry Uht Park one of its top ten in the minors. And, while I’ve tried to keep it a secret all these years, Erie is actually where I was born. Again, I think the teams are mislabeled here – a ‘sea wolf’ is actually a pirate, isn’t it? And what in God’s name is a Curve (other than a pitch Barry Zito throws half the time)? We’ll find out on May 10th when we visit Altoona.

Great American Baseball Adventure, Week 1: April 5th-11th, 2010

Baseball's ultimate road trip begins on an April Monday afternoon in Pittsburgh, then criss-crosses the state of Ohio as the minor league season gets underway. Presenting GABA 2010, Opening Week style...

Monday, April 5^th:

Pittsburgh, PA (trip begins)

Pittsburgh Pirates vs. Los Angeles Dodgers

It’s opening day (not including ESPN’s annoying single Sunday night game) and there’s no better place to spend it than at what might be the best-looking park in baseball, PNC Park in Pittsburgh. I can almost taste the pierogi now! Plus, we’re talking about the franchise with the pro sports record for most consecutive losing seasons (17). It’s better to see them early before they’re 20 games out and trading veterans for Cuban cigars.

Tuesday, April 6^th:

Travel day. MLB starts a few days before the minors, so it’s a great time to get positioned for 14 games in 14 days in the Midwest.

Wednesday, April 7^th:

Cincinnati, OH (291 miles from Pittsburgh)

Cincinnati Reds vs. St. Louis Cardinals

Four straight days in the Buckeye State starts at Great American Ballpark. Reds vs. Redbirds is a little confusing, but I’ll be too busy stuffing my face with Skyline Chili to care. Also, my wife’s a big Cardinal fan, so it’s a wise idea to get on her good side before taking her 27,000 miles around the country.

Thursday, April 8^th:

Columbus, OH (107 miles from Cincinnati)

Columbus Clippers (AAA Indians) vs. Indianapolis Indians (AAA Pirates)

Opening day in the minor leagues! Just like MLB, we’re starting off at what might be the best ballpark in the minors. Huntington Park was named ‘Ballpark of the Year’ by several publications. The Clippers were a Yankees farm team for years, but now they’re another ‘close to home’ minor league club for Cleveland. The team in this game named ‘Indians’ is NOT the Indians farm team. Bizarre.

Friday, April 9^th:

Dayton, OH (75 miles from Columbus)

Dayton Dragons (A Reds) vs. Lansing Lugnuts (A Blue Jays)

Dayton’s a tougher ticket than you might think – the Dragons have sold out every game at Fifth Third Field for nine straight seasons, and sold out all 2009 games before the season even started. All this after a fan was injured by a thrown ball during a 2008 brawl. We’ll buy scalped tickets if we have to, but maybe I’ll wear armor if we’re sitting close to the field.

Saturday, April 10^th:

Toledo, OH (150 miles from Dayton)

Toledo Mud Hens (AAA Tigers) vs. Louisville Bats (AAA Reds)

OK, let me get this straight. After checking out Fifth Third Field in Dayton, we’re driving to Toledo to see baseball at… Fifth Third Field?! This couldn’t possibly be confusing… no, not at all. Come to think of it, every MLB stadium should just be renamed Miller Park to make it easier. OK, I’ll get down off the stadium name soapbox. This is the only time we see the Mud Hens all season, so I’ll be like Corporal Klinger and wear my Mud Hens cap with pride

Sunday, April 11^th:

Detroit, MI (59 miles from Toledo)

Detroit Tigers vs. Cleveland Indians

And on the seventh day, we won’t rest… but at least it’s a short drive up from Toledo. The schedule worked out perfectly to get all four Michigan teams back to back. I’m hoping the Tigers will have recovered from their ’09 collapse (they’re the only team in MLB history to lose a three game lead with four games to play). Heard great things about Comerica Park… and I hear housing’s cheap in Detroit too.

The offseason fun begins - GABA 2010, Prologue

It's done. The World Champion Yankees have thrown their $500 bills into the air in celebration (I know because I dislocated a knee trying to pick one of them up). The Royals, Nationals, and 12 other teams are wondering if their entire 2010 payroll will match A-Rod's salary (hint: probably not, unless the Brewers pull a Jedi mind trick and force the Royals to take on Jeff Suppan's contract).

Baseball season has officially ended. And yes, we'll spend the winter watching the John Lackey Sweepstakes or reading Stephen Strasburg's AFL pitching lines. But it's just not the same. I can't be satisfied eating peanuts and Cracker Jacks on the couch.

And here, baseball fans, is where the Great American Baseball Adventure comes in. On top of being the coolest idea since demolishing the Kingdome, it's also great off-season fodder.

For those of you not up to GABA speed yet, here's the primer. A few months ago, the economy ate my job in Florida (turns out the economy has big, nasty teeth and a total disregard for my budget.) I found myself at a career crossroads, digging deep to figure out what I wanted to do next (soup kitchens were NOT the answer).

That's when the dream portion of my brain (aka 'insanity') kicked in. I wanted to see baseball... and lots of it.

And so the Great American Baseball Adventure was born - a 2010 trip designed to go to every full-season major and minor league park in this great land of ours (plus Toronto, of course). 150 games in less than six months - an incessant maze of maps, small towns, Americana, and hopefully, the sponsorship to pull it all off.

The GABA even got some love from a few message boards (thank you, Astros fans and Houston Sports Talk radio).

But then, work called again. I jumped right back into the fray, loading up the truck and hauling it to Milwaukee. Yes, the land of cheese, beer, and frickin' freezing temperatures... a perfect fit for someone who hasn't lived north of Memphis in his conscious lifetime, don't you think? Actually, it's been great... but it's early November and the first snowfall hasn't even come. Ask me about this Milwaukee move again in January, and I may throw up all over myself.

Point is, work pays the bills a little better than my dreams do. So GABA 2010 goes the way of the Atari 2600 and the Montreal Expos.

Or does it?

The idea got such great reaction from friends and family, and I had already lost so much sleep trying to plan Albuquerque-to-Denver all-nighters, that I decided to plan it out anyway. At worst, it'll help pass the time til pitchers and catchers report. At best, maybe somebody with lots of time and money sees this and takes the trip. (If you're reading this and you have time and money in abundance, could you spare a little 'charity' for the trip organizer?)

GABA 2010 lives! Every day in November, I'll post the itinerary, week by week, with some details about each city and game. Remember, this thing's all about tons of baseball, and tons of fun.

So read it over, analyze, critique, and gimme some feedback. At least it'll keep your mind from wandering to nasty thoughts of watching hockey.

Three games into the Series, and I'm starting to feel really bad for the Philadelphia Phillies. And mostly, that's because Joe Blanton vs. CC Sabathia isn't my idea of bringing my best fighter to the prize fight. Call me a sucker for pitchers who throw complete games and shut down offenses in October, but I think you've got to have Cliff Lee out there to trade punches with ChaChing Sabathia.

This could get ugly for Philly, very quickly. And I really don't want the offseason to get here any faster than it already is.